Stark Problems
by forever-a-thief
Summary: Tony is called in to help with a little problem... his father. Somehow, the man has been brought forward in time, and no one knows why or by who! Can Tony deal with Howard without punching him? Can Howard figure out why everyone who knows Tony seems to hate his guts? Will they be able to get him back to the proper time?
1. So, the Situation is

"Sir, Agent Coulson is on his way up with what he insists is very important news." Jarvis's voice echoed through the bedroom and Tony groaned as he rolled over, looking at the clock on his bedside table. It was almost two in the morning, and Coulson had decided to drop by. WHY?

With another disgruntled groan, Tony drew himself up and shuffled his way into the living room. Without even bothering to meet Coulson at the elevator, Tony headed straight to the bar instead. Once he had poured himself a generous amount of scotch, he took a swig and nodded at Coulson as he made his way over, placing his hands on the bartop and tapping his fingers distractedly.

"And to what do I owe this visit, Agent? Did aliens decide to attack New York again, or did you just miss me that much?" Tony snarked, taking another swig of his drink. If he had to be awake, he was at least going to enjoy it.

Coulson looked up at him, seeming almost guilty, and then sighed. "Mr. Stark, tonight at approximately nine o'clock, SHIELD scientists picked up an odd energy reading coming from one of the old SSR laboratories downtown. Agents were sent to investigate and came back with a man. A man claiming to be Howard Stark." Coulson spoke slowly, carefully, and Tony's heart stuttered for a moment before he fell back on the stool behind him, distractedly taking another long swig of alcohol from the bottle closest to him. Coulson watched him carefully and continued when Tony looked up at him, still shocked into silence.

"He was brought back to headquarters in a blacked out van. They ran a few blood tests and he was telling the truth; he really is Howard Stark. He says that the date is September 12, 1952, which makes him 38 years old. For him, it's only been eight years since Captain Rogers went down in the ice and he doesn't even know he has a son; for him, you haven't been born yet."

All Tony can think is that _the bastard doesn't even know about me._ The man being held at SHIELD headquarters doesn't know all the shit Tony's had to put up with through the years because of him; his childhood, what that man's death did to him. Unable to say anything, Tony took another drink and stared at Coulson, lost.

After a long moment of silence, he finally asked, "What do you want me to do? You said he doesn't even know about me."

Coulson seemed prepared for that and smiled reassuringly. "We just thought you might want to go and see him. Or at least know that he's here. A few of our men are working on how he got here in the first place, but they haven't gotten very far."

Ah, that's what the rush was all about, but even so, Tony grew a little annoyed at that comment. "So you're not only bringing me in so I know, you're bringing me in because you don't know how the hell it happened or how to send him back."

The agent looked embarrassed but nodded. "Well, yes. That's another perk of you knowing." He sobered quickly and stared Tony down. "But remember, Tony, he doesn't know you. All the things you've been through, he hasn't done them yet. Don't take it all out on him, if you do decide to meet with him."

Tony glared at Coulson and snarled, "I don't give a shit about him. I'll help send him back, but I don't want to talk to him. Or see him. Unless I get to beat the living hell out of him, keep us in different rooms." Coulson nodded, the embodiment of understanding, and made to leave.

"Wait, where do you think you're going? I'll come now, just let me get dressed." When Tony noticed the odd look Coulson was giving him, he shrugged and frowned, pointing at his watch. "Well, you already woke me up, and I'm not sleeping after that. The sooner this nightmare is over, the sooner I can get back to," he trailed off, waving his hand vaguely at the tower and his lab. Coulson nodded and waited near the elevator while Tony changed.

When Tony walked through the doors, he was handed a file full of the energy readings from Howard's arrival. As he was flipping through the pages, he heard a somewhat familiar voice shouting.

"I don't know what the hell's going on, so I demand I get some answers! Something happened that's beyond you as well, or you would've sent me back already."

Someone tried to calm him down, saying they didn't know what he was talking about, he was still where he had always been, there had just been an unexplainable power surge and he had blacked out. Even Tony scoffed at that explaination.

"Oh, please. I can tell this technology is at least twenty years ahead of what I have, and I'm pretty far ahead of everyone else. Where am I?" Tony was starting to feel uneasy. Even if the man was a bastard, he felt he would be reacting the same way if he were in his situation.

Hearing enough, Tony threw the folder down on a table and stomped over, barely glancing over his father before turning to the SHIELD agent, his stomach making odd flip-flops. Thankfully, he recognized the kid. "Hey, Norton. That's enough. I got it from here, why don't you go tell Coulson what's up?" Norton turned to Tony and gaped, turning from Tony to Howard and back. "It's alright. Tell Coulson I changed my mind. But I won't punch him, I swear."

Norton nodded and almost sprinted away. Tony watched him go with a cocky grin that quickly disappeared when he turned to look at the now-suspicious Howard.

"Who were you threatening to punch? That Coulson fella, or me?" When Tony didn't answer and simply rose a bored eyebrow, Howard sighed and decided to stare Tony down, instead. "You look familiar. Have we met before?"

That made Tony grin wide and break down into long, loud, slighly-mad laughter that made Howard's eyes go wide. "Are, are you alright? Mister, I didn't say anything funny, what's going on?"

Trying to sober quickly, Tony stood straight again and wiped away the tears from his eyes. "Oh, God. Sorry, that was just. Ugh, too funny. Sorry." Taking a deep breath, Tony extended his hand. "Tony Stark. Nice to meet you. Kinda. Well, this version of you, anyway." Howard gave off a forced air of nonchalance, even though Tony noticed his hand twitching in agitation, and then shook Tony's outstretched hand.

"Howard Stark. So, how are we related? Cousins, or something?"

Tony grinned again, turned to the surveillence camera pointed straight at them, and winked. "Naw, nothing like that. I'm actually your son." When Howard's jaw clenched and he was looked up and down increduously, Tony leaned forward and mumbled, "The year's 2013. Somebody, we don't know who, ripped you forward about sixty years. These hacks are trying to figure out how the hell it happened, but after six hours, they decided to call me in."

Howard watched Tony warily, not quite sure if he should believe him or not. "Sorry, Mister, but why should I believe anything you've just told me? How can I possibly know this is true?"

Tony sighed long-sufferingly, and only hesitated for a moment before gripping Howard's shoulder and leading him toward the doors. "Coulson!" he shouted out as he saw the agent watching him with a thinly veiled glare. "We're going to the Tower. We'll work on stuff there. You guys just, keep trying to figure things out here. We'll be there." Tony threw his free hand around, pointing and waving as he spoke, and then led the bewildered Howard out of the building. Coulson sighed as he crossed his arms but allowed them to leave. No big deal. They were being tailed, anyway.


	2. Introduction to the Present

Howard was silent all the way to the tower, opting to trade off on staring out the windows and going through the glove compartment, skimming through the owner's manual before chucking it into the back seat. Tony, meanwhile, was having a mini panic attack in his head as he drove. He was having second thoughts about bringing Howard with him, but decided there was really no other choice. This was such a bad idea.

But, he reasoned with himself, he could always push him off on Bruce, or Pepper, or anyone really, come morning.

Oh, wait. It was morning.

The sun was just coming above the horizion as they pulled into the garage, and Tony parked carefully before turning and walking away, expecting Howard to be right behind him. When he got to the elevator, though, he turned to find Howard staring at his many cars with wide, interested eyes. A sudden realization hit Tony, then. Howard was younger than he was. Howard would only be 38, while Tony was nearing his mid-forties. Granted, the age difference wasn't too vast, but just how young his father was right then really made him stop and stare for a few minutes, unsettled.

Howard was so totally engrossed in his perusal of Tony's car collection that he didn't notice the odd silence until he glanced back at Tony to ask a question and found him bent in half, breathing a bit heavily.

He rushed to his future son's side and patted him lightly, letting him know he had noticed him. "Hey, um. What's wrong? I just got a little distracted, I didn't mean to. . . ," Howard trailed off as Tony straightened and coughed unhealthily, turning on his heel to press the elevator button. "I have some cigarettes if you want one. The doctors say they calm the nerves," Howard said with a crooked grin. "I just say they feel good."

"Naw, it's fine. I'm fine. God. Sorry, it's just. Man, you're young." Howard followed him into the elevator with a wide grin and nodded.

"Yeah, I suppose I am. How old am I now? Almost 100, right? Lord, I must look terrible! If I'm even still around." He looked up at Tony hopefully but Tony shook his head.

"No. I'm not giving you anything. If you really want to know, you'll have to figure it out yourself." Howard shrugged his shoulders easily and grinned again, twisting around to look at the elevator.

"Well, this is all much nicer than anything I have. This really is 2013, then?" Tony nodded and let out a pent-up breath when the doors whooshed open. He led his father into the penthouse and called out to his AI.

"Jarvis! When's Pepper supposed to be in?" Howard perked up at the mention of Jarvis, and he grinned as he twirled around, looking for his old friend.

"Miss Potts is set to arrive at eight, sir. Should I notify her of your guest, and ask her to come earlier?" Jarvis asked. Howard glared at the ceiling and pouted.

"Jarvis is dead, isn't he? This is just some robot or something, not really him."

"You got it in one go, Pops. He's an AI; Artificial Intelligence. He runs the house for me." Tony paused, a sentimental smile on his face. "I liked Jarvis, so I thought I'd keep him around." He gave Howard a snarky grin as he rounded towards the bar, calling out to Jarvis to let Pepper know the situation. Howard followed him warily and leaned against the bar, staring out the glass windows at the city.

"Lot's changed," he mused aloud as he took the drink Tony pushed towards him. He didn't even bother to check what it was before taking a long swallow, throwing it back down on the bartop with another lopsided grin. "Another round, on you, kid," he said, giving Tony a wink as he went to stand closer to the windows, peering down at the ever-present traffic down below. "This is just crazy," the younger man mused quietly. Tony followed him over, sighing lightly and taking peeks over at Howard until they heard the elevator doors swish open and Jarvis announce a bit unneccesarily, "Miss Potts has arrived, sir."

Both men turned to see her, but Tony was the first to react, rushing over when the look of pure anger took over her face when she realized who was standing next to him.

"Pep, Pep, it's alright. Yes, I know who that is and no, I didn't do it." He took her over to the elevator again and tried to calm her down.

"You know who that is, right?! That's your father, Tony. What the hell is going on?" Sighing, Tony explained the situation. He also explained that he was trying to start on good terms with the guy, and was refraining from hitting him simply because the younger man didn't have a clue about anything and was extremely confused as to why he had been yanked to the future. That seemed to calm her down considerably.

Tugging on her arm, Tony led her over to Howard, grinning. "Alright, Howard. This is Virginia Potts, but we all call her Pepper. She runs everything for me and is all-around amazing, puts up with all my crap, and basically loves the hell out of me." Pepper hit Tony in the arm and held her hand out for Howard.

"My, nice catch, Tony. Howard Stark," he said, giving her a wink and a decent shake. When they pulled apart, Tony saw the unamused look on Pepper's face and tried to head her off before she got too angry.

"Yeah, alright, enough chatting. Pepper, I was hoping you could take him for a while. I don't know, go see the sights or fill him in on everything? I have to get down to the lab and try to figure all this out before Coulson shows up and yells at me. Again. Yells at me again. Did I mention the yelling? It gets pretty annoying actually, so I'm trying to avoid it as much as possible in the future." When he saw Pepper's frank look, he put on his best pleading face. "Please, Pep?"

Sighing longsufferingly, she nodded. "Fine. But this bumps me up to 13%, at least." Tony grinned cheekily and turned back towards Howard, who was glaring at them.

"I don't need to be babysat. And I can probably help with the whole 'getting me back to 1952' thing. I'm not stupid." Howard raised an eyebrow when Tony started stammering, and that made him stop dead in his tracks, causing him to take a deep breath and close his eyes, old memories flashing through his mind unbidden because of that one movement. Shaking away the sickening feeling, Tony took a step back and was just about to agree just to get the man to stop looking at him like that when Jarvis interrupted him.

"Excuse me, sir, but there seems to be a group of odd machines attacking citizens approximately twenty blocks away; they appear to be Doom-bots. Shall I call for the Avengers?"

Now it was Tony's turn to sigh. "Fine. Let the police know our ETA is about fifteen minutes." Turning to Pepper and Howard, who was giving him a funny look, Tony leaned over to give Pepper a quick peck on the cheek and then waltzed past them, heading for the roof, where he could throw the suit on and get away from Howard as quickly as possible.

While the suit was attaching itself, Tony watched Howard's reaction out of the corner of his eye. Howard and Pepper were standing at the window, watching him. His father's eyes were huge and he was obviously taking in all the details, alighting on Tony's arc reactor for the first time. Tony grinned when the younger man noticed it and his jaw dropped.

Finally, the suit was together and he pushed off of the platform, heading downtown to meet everyone else.

"What the hell is he doing?!" Howard shouted, pointing at Tony as the suit began attaching to him. The moment he saw the little light in the center of his son's chest, his mouth sagged and he turned to Pepper helplessly. "What?" was all he could say before Tony pushed off the platform and flew away. "What's going on?" he shouted, suddenly frightened for this son he didn't even know, who was apparently hugely afraid of him and very good at hiding it.

"Calm down, he does this sort of stuff all the time. He's a," she faltered for a moment but continued, "a superhero, I guess you could say. He's part of a team SHIELD put together called the Avengers, and they protect the city when bad people try to attack it." She felt like that was a terrible explanation, but she didn't have time to tell him everything because she was more interested in catching the news.

She walked over to the tv and switched on the news channel that always seemed to have the best coverage of the Avengers' fights. Howard settled next to her and they watched together as the fight continued. Pepper named off the other team members for Howard and explained a bit about each. When Steve showed up on the screen, Howard leaned forward excitedly and pointed.

"That's Steve! How the hell is he here? Did they finally find him?" When Pepper explained, Howard beamed and sat back, grinning like crazy as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket and started smoking profusely. Pepper wrinkled up her nose at the smell but allowed it, letting the man from the past relax in peace.

Yes, this definitely bumped her up to at least 13%.


	3. Dad, Meet the Team

Tony wiped the sweat from his face as he looked around at the ruin that was what was left of one of the busiest streets in New York City. It was now filled with rubble and a few injured, that were quickly being ushered away from the sparking remains of the Doom-bots that had been attacking minutes earlier. Idly, he watched as Steve shoved a large bit of rubble off of him and struggled to get back on his feet. Leaning down, Tony reached out and helped steady the man, earning a warm smile and a quick, "Thanks."

Looking around, Tony spotted Clint and Natasha checking each other over for injuries as inconspicuously as they could, Bruce slowly losing the dark green coloring of the Hulk that made him look like he was about to vomit as he shrunk down, and Thor walking around the area with a big smile as he kicked at the machines they had destroyed.

Rolling his eyes, Tony followed Cap towards the others. "Everyone alright?" Steve asked, checking everyone over carefully. Everyone nodded and Cap grinned, looking at the giant mess left behind. "I guess we'll help clean up a bit. At least clear the road, for now."

Everyone groaned but nodded, following the Captain's lead as they started shoving rubble out of the way. Tony had Jarvis call up some people to transport the bots back to the Tower for him, before he went back to helping with the clean up.

Another two hours later, the road was clear enough for Cap's conscience to allow them all to leave. Tony dithered, not really wanting to get back home for once. Everyone noticed how off Tony seemed, and it fell to Steve to corner him and get the story.

"Tony, what's wrong? You seem a bit jumpy." Steve studied the dark haired man closely before reaching out and setting a heavy hand on his shoulder. "C'mon Tony, what's up?"

Tony seemed to weight his options before finally giving in. With a huge sigh, Tony grumbled, "My father." Though that was extremely vague, Steve knew that Tony and Howard had had a rough time together. A hand ran down his face as he tried to get the words out. "There were some weird readings, and SHIELD came to me to get my thoughts on them, but they found someone there. It was my father," he grumbled, his face twitching in irritation.

"Oh," Steve said eloquently, blinking owlishly at Tony in surprise. "Um," he tried again, words failing him all of a sudden. Tony smiled grimly, totally understanding his speechlessness.

"He's back at the Tower right now, with Pepper. Probably watched the news with her. God, Steve. I kind of just jumped into bringing him home with me. I mean, he was freaking out on the agents and confused and I could understand, I mean I would have freaked out if that had happened to me, too, but I just..., I mean, he's my father! What am I supposed to _do_?!" He spoke in one long sentence, barely stopping to breathe, and then his eyes grew wide as he tried to reign in the oncoming panic attack.

"Tony! Tony, it's alright. How about this, we'll all come back to the Tower with you. Kind of diffuse the tension, yeah?" Inwardly, Steve was growing nervous himself. He had resigned himself to the fact that he would never see Howard again. But now that he was going to be coming face to face with his old friend again, he wasn't quite sure how to feel. He was nervous, and angry, and happy, and so many other things that he couldn't even name. But he had to help Tony out.

Tony looked up, catching his breath and smiling gratefully. "Yeah. Yeah, that'll help. He'll be so busy with all of you, he won't even notice me. Yeah, that'll work. Thanks, Cap." He clapped Steve on the shoulder and then started to move past him to the other curious Avengers.

"You know you can't run from him forever, right? Eventually you'll have to have an actual conversation with your old man." Tony froze mid-step, but then turned a cocky grin on the man over his shoulder.

"I am Tony Stark, and I am _brilliant_ at avoiding things. You just watch." His smile faltered for a moment as he turned back to the others, but then he was oozing charm once more. Steve shook his head in exasperation as he followed the man.

"Alright, everyone. Who wants to meet my old man? He's back at the Tower right now after a freak trip through time, and I really don't want to deal with any of that right now. Now, who's coming?" he asked jovially, continuing to walk as if assuming everyone would just follow after him.

The others turned to eachother, raising eyebrows and grinning like loons, before they turned and followed Tony back to the Tower.

"Pepper!" Tony shouted the moment his foot crossed the threshold. She rushed out from the living room and smiled, wrapping her arms around him. "Alright, I'm alright. Everyone's alright, Pep."

She smiled and then tapped his chestplate, before looking behind him at the others. "Ah! You brought everyone!" she said, grinning. Quietly, she whispered, "Moral support, huh?" Tony blushed but nodded, looking over his shoulder at Steve, who was watching their interaction with a lopsided grin.

"Um, do you mind introducing everyone while I get the suit off? It'll only take a minute, promise." He turned his big puppy dog eyes on to Pepper, and the woman had no defense.

"Oh, alright. Just hurry up. No distractions!" she warned, waving a stern finger in his face before shoving him toward the elevator. The suit would need some work done after that fight, so he would take it off in the lab. As the doors slid closed, he heard Pepper's falsely cheery voice ushering everyone into the kitchen, with promises of warm food and fine alcohol.

He stumbled into the lab in a jittery daze, letting Jarvis deal with getting the suit off of him as he stood in the middle of the room, just thinking. He still wasn't quite sure how he should feel about the man upstairs, but he knew Pepper always stayed true to his word, and distractions would not be tolerated.

He sighed as the final piece of red metal was detached and made his way back to the elevator. The entire way back up to the penthouse, he was giving himself a half-hearted pep talk. He would have people to back him up tonight. Pepper and Steve would diffuse the tension nicely; Pepper, because she was just simply _good_ at that, and Steve because he and Howard had so much to catch up on. They _had_ been friends during the war.

With one final deep breath, Tony left the safety of the elevator and followed the sounds of talking back into the kitchen. The table and counters were covered with food and drinks, though Barton had decided to perch on the edge of the counter instead of sitting at the table like a normal person. Romanoff stood just to his left, leaning against the counter and staring at Howard as if she could see right through him, which she probably could. She was most likely standing there picking him apart piece by piece. Pepper was standing near the doorway, hovering with a worried look on her face while she waited for him to reappear.

"Hey, Pep," he said quietly, coming up beside her and wrapping her up in a hug as he took in the rest of the scene. Howard was thankfully distracted by Steve, who was trying to catch his old friend up as quickly as he could. Bruce sat on the other side of the man, a tired smile on his face as he watched the enthusiastic conversation going on in front of him. He caught Tony's eye as he entered and his smile became just a bit less sad, but no less understanding.

Tony nodded back at Bruce, grinned at the Hawk and Widow, then reluctantly disentangled himself from Pepper and took his own seat at the table, beside the sprawled out Thor, who was gulping down a large lager, seeming to only be half paying attention to the conversation. Howard's attention was immediately wretched from Steve to look over his new son properly.

"You alright there, Tony?" he asked, his eyes flicking from his eyes down to his glowing chest. Tony bristled; he hated being reminded that the thing was stuck in his chest and just why it was there in the first place.

"Fine," he snapped, earning a confused look from his father, before the man gave him one more long look.

"That was quite the tumble, back there. The television showed the whole thing! That suit of yours must have taken years to make. Do you mind if I take a look at it sometime? Maybe when you show me your lab so we can get cracking at those energy readings from my arrival?" Howard fired one sentence after another at his son, who was getting incresingly paler as the man continued. Steve, sensing the unease pouring off of Tony, tried to change the subject, but Thor beat him to it.

"So, father of the Man of Iron, how did this come to be? You showing up here, now, in your future? How did you best time?" Thor boomed, entering the conversation for the first time that night. It was a question everyone was wondering; even Tony, who hadn't had time to read through the debriefing SHIELD had sent him.

Howard still seemed shocked to be talking with a Norse god, but he tried to answer the question quickly. His face turned intense as he tried to remember clearly. "I was with Peggy at the new SSR base we had just set up. We were going over some papers, and all of a sudden, there was this great white light. I don't know what happened to her, but when I woke up, I was in a pitch dark room. I found out later it was the same room in that SSR facility, but just the wrong time. I tried to get the electricity on, but it wasn't working. As soon as I gave up on that, a team of ten or so people rushed in with torches and guns and had me taken into custody within seconds. They were trying to tell me that I was still where I was supposed to be, when I _obviously_ wasn't."

Despite himself, Tony was hanging on every word the man said. This was a good start to figuring out what had happened in that old facility. And the reminder that the man had been on his own and confused made him relax minutely, remembering just why he had agreed to bring the man home with him. If he could just approach his father as someone who needed his help, and not as the man he had grown up with, they all might just get through this without any serious bloodshed.

The room went silent after his description, as everyone tried to recall if they had ever heard of anything like that happening before. "Well, that has got to be the weirdest thing I've heard in a while," Barton mumbled into his beer, sharing a look with Romanoff before they both started snorting laughs into their brews. Steve rolled his eyes and leaned back comfortably in his chair, while Bruce grinned at Tony, both excited to start unraveling anything to do with science. Thor just smiled, glad that his interjection into the conversation had relieved the tension.

The group passed the next few hours in conversation, Steve trying to keep Howard busy while Tony and Bruce brought a tablet out from somewhere and went over the energy readings from Howard's arrival, bickering back and forth. Pepper and Romanoff watched the scene and traded amused looks throughout the night, Barton and Thor huddled in another corner of the table trading battle stories.

When it got quite late, the team started to disperse, and Tony slowly began panicking again. Barton and Romanoff were the first to leave, giving the excuse that they had work in the morning, which was technically true but really, alcohol never really seemed to affect either of them. After they left, Thor stood as well. He was set to head back to Asgard for a few days, and he disappeared from view quite quickly after flying out the window. Howard blanched as he realized how high up they were when the man simply waved goodbye and jumped out the window, no one else even batting an eye at his departure. Steve and Bruce were both staying at the Tower for now, but they left soon after for the own rooms.

Pepper gave one look at the two men left in the room and sighed. "I'll go get a room ready for you, Howard. You have to be exhausted by now." Her worried eyes roved over Tony momentarily, before she turned and left the room. Tony stood near the door, staring at the floor. Across the table, Howard stood, staring at his son. A nagging feeling in his stomach was telling him that perhaps he hadn't been a very good father, and vowed to find out as much as he could tomorrow.

"Tony, I...," he started, but the second he opened his mouth, Tony's head jerked up and he started at Howard with such an intensity that it almost knocked Howard off of his feet. When he had recovered, he raised his eyebrows and asked timidly, "Tony? Are you alright?"

Tony continued to stare at Howard, until they could both hear Pepper heading back towards the kitchen. Tony let out a long breath through his teeth, took one last look up and down his father, and then turned and left the room, shaking his head and grumbling under his breath.

Howard watched his son leave in confusion. He had no clue why the man was so hot and cold with him all the time, but there really wasn't much he could do about it. He would be gone soon, and none of this would matter anymore, except maybe as a warning on what not to do in his future. Shifting uncomfortably, Howard just couldn't accept that his son couldn't stand to be alone in the same room with him for too long. As Pepper arrived to usher him to his new room, Howard remained silent, staring moodily at the floor.

Maybe he could fix this, before he was sent back?


	4. What Tony Discovered

Tony stared at his computer screen in confusion, which just served to infuriate him further, as he tried to comprehend the information in front of him.

Growling lowly, Tony grumbled, "Jarvis, is this saying what I think it's saying? Please, tell me I'm wrong." His eyes fluttered closed as Jarvis ran through the information for himself before replying.

"It appears so, sir. What would you like me to do?" the AI asked quietly, knowing that Tony Stark would be very distraught at his affirmation.

"Oh, God. Just great," he moaned, leaning down on the tabletop and rubbing his face tiredly. He stayed that way for a few long minutes before he heard the doors to his lab swish open, and jumped up as if he had been electrocuted, moving his hands quickly to hide the information on his screen before anyone else saw it.

"Hey, kid," Howard said, greeting Tony with a cocked grin, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He hadn't missed Tony hiding his work with a quick flick of his hand, but he didn't put much into it. "What are you working on?" he asked, coming to stand behind Tony, who noticeably tensed before Jarvis came to his rescue and brought up a video feed from SHIELD's database. Praising Jarvis's quick thinking, Tony waved a hand at the screen with an irritated frown.

"Hacking into SHIELD. Something I do about once a week, to keep them on their toes and all." Howard smiled down at him before pulling a stool up beside him.

"Find anything interesting?" Howard asked. He was curious about his son, though he could see he wouldn't be getting anywhere soon with him. Tony was still quiet and withdrawn around him, and he just wished he knew why.

Tony punched a few keys and shook his head. "Ah, there's always something interesting hidden in here, somewhere." A sudden idea struck him then, and he swiveled around to reach for a tablet. Shoving it into Howard's hands, he said, "Why don't you work on something? I know you don't do well when you can't keep your hands busy."

Howard smiled to himself. It seemed Tony knew some things about him that didn't leave him bitter, after all. He accepted the tablet and stared at it for a long moment, before Tony sighed and swiped a finger across the screen, turning it on. Howard beamed down at it excitedly, and started exploring it. Suitably distracted, he didn't notice Tony's sudden tight lipped, worried look.

Pepper noticed that Tony was off that night. He went through the motions, smiling and laughing and cracking bad jokes, but she saw the worry in his eyes and the tightness around his mouth and eyes. When Howard slunk off later that night, Pepper cornered Tony and demanded an answer.

"Tony, what's going on? I know that look, and you're worried about something!" Pepper was getting exasperated by Tony's silence, but the look on his face made her quiet down. Tony chewed on his lip for a moment, trying to decide how much he should tell her. But this was Pepper! If he couldn't tell Pepper of all people, who could he tell?

"I was going over the readings from Howard's appearance, and I think I know what happened." He trailed off, and Pepper gave him a moment to continue, but when it became apparent he had no idea how to continue, she took a deep breath and stepped forward to wrap her arms around him. He laughed weakly, and wrapped his arms around her as well, sinking into her slightly. "We can't send him back," Tony whispered, tracing his finger up and down Pepper's back. "The tech that sent him here didn't actually send him forward, it sent a copy of him forward. Even if we could send him back, there would be two Howard Starks walking around."

Pepper pulled back and looked Tony in the eye. "I'm sorry, Tony. Have you told him yet?" His shaking head was her only answer, so she took his hand in hers and waited for him to keep talking, because she just knew he wasn't done yet.

"But there's more. I don't think the portal or whatever it was that sent him here isn't closed, at least not all the way. It's still open, which means someone else might trip through it into the future." Pepper and Tony's wide eyes met as Pepper covered her mouth, shocked by Tony's surety.

Howard really did love technology. Once he had figured out how to work the tablet Tony had shoved at him as a distraction, it fulfilled its job and kept him interested until well into the night. He found the thing called 'Google' and found that it let you search for anything you could possibly be interested in. Curious, he typed in Tony's name, and went through forty years worth of publicity in about two hours. He saw how young Tony was when he made his first robot, when he graduated college, when he fell into drunkeness and debauchery, all the weapons he developed, his kidnapping and everything that happened with Obie, and then the attempted alien takeover just months earlier. He watched videos on something called 'YouTube', where he saw press conferences and TMZ reports, especially the famous, "I am Iron Man" press conference.

Then, he took a deep breath and typed his own name into the search engine. He saw all the things he had accomplished, his marriage to a woman named Maria, Tony's birth, articles speculating that Howard might not have been such a great father, and he nearly stopped when he read those. They made a ball of dread form in his stomach and slink down to his toes, weighing him down. This was probably why Tony never felt comfortable around him! He had been a terrible father. If he could, he would try and ask Tony just how much he had screwed up.

Just as he was turning the tablet off and standing to get ready for bed, a loud alarm sounded throughout the building and he went into his WWII blitz mode, feeling like he had everytime the sirens had gone off, running to take shelter. This time though, he had a son to see safe, so he ran into the common room looking for Tony. He found Tony and Pepper near the kitchen looking very confused, before Tony yelled up at Jarvis.

"What's going on, Jarv?" There was a long pause, and then the AI stated calmly, "It seems that the sensors you had placed in the SSR base that Howard Stark appeared in have gone off. Someone else has come through the portal."

She was very confused. She had been going into the file room to put away some paperwork that had been shoved in her hands only moments before. And then she had seen something out of the corner of her eye, something bright and pulling. She had gone towards it, and suddenly all the lights had gone out, and she could hardly see.

Searching through her pockets, she found a small flashlight and waved it around, trying to figure out just where she had gone. "Thompson? Sousa? Anyone!" she shouted. She saw that the shelves had somehow emptied in the few seconds she had been turned around. There were cobwebs and dust everywhere.

"Hello?" Agent Peggy Carter called out once more, jumping slightly when she heard something shift in the next room. She crept forward slowly, knudging the door open slightly. On the other side of the door was a beeping sensor. She stepped into the room with a roll of her eyes, though she took in the empty office in confusion. What was going on? She picked up the sensor in one hand, rolling it around until she saw the insignia on the bottom. Laughing, she set it back down.

"Stark Industries, hmm? What have you done now, Howard?" she said to the empty room, seeping exasperation.


	5. Nick Fury Makes Everyone Angry

**A/N: And here's the next chapter! (Also, shameless plug: I just started a story Ripples. If you like X-Men, go check it out, after reading this chapter, of course!) Now, ENJOY!**

Fury was, as his name would lead you to believe, furious. He was glaring down at Tony with his one good eye, the eyepatch only seeming to make the look even fiercer. Tony, however, was not easily cowed. Especially when he had backup like Captain America and Pepper Potts.

"I gave you time to figure this out, Stark! I let you have your weird-ass bonding time with Howard Stark, but now there's another one! And she isn't as easily placated as your father was," Fury said, his face twisting up in disgust. Tony just snickered; he knew exactly what had happened, got to watch it, actually.

Fury wasn't really mad at him, not _really_. He was angry because the agents they had sent in to retrieve Peggy Carter from the old SSR base had all ended up incapacitated and unconcious in a matter of minutes. And now they had lost her. She was lost somewhere in New York City, and probably freaked out of her mind.

"It's been weeks, now. I need some solid information about this portal _thing_. Before we get any _more_ fucking people from the past wandering in here!" Fury's hands had gravitated towards his hips as he continued to glare down at Tony Stark, who was calmly typing away on his computer. Steve and Pepper were glaring right back at Nick in protective anger.

"Director Fury," Steve started, always the polite one, even when he was frothing at the mouth. "Tony's been working down here every day on the readings, trying to figure out what's going on." He paused for a moment, as if he just thought of something, and then looked down his nose at Fury shrewdly. "Don't you have scientists on your _actual_ payroll that are supposed to be working on this, too? You can't just expect Tony to have all the answers, all the time."

Nick Fury looked a little sheepish at that, taking a big step back as he straightened his back and lifted a dark brow in response. "My guys are good, but none of them are _Stark good_. By the way, don't think I didn't see that you hacked into our servers again, Stark." Tony laughed but continued to stare at his computer screen, running a finger over his lips as he smiled. This was really entertaining; he should set Fury and Rogers against each other more often.

It was now Pepper's turn to butt in. "Yes, those scientists of yours should have gotten _something_ by now. Tony's been busy with his own things, but at least he's made _some_ progress." She rolled her eyes like a champ and gave Fury an unamused look as she pointed out matter-of-factly, "And really, if you all know that that base keeps spitting out people from the past, why isn't someone stationed there so they can explain right away what the hell is going on? For a super secret intelligence agency, you all aren't very intelligent."

And there was the third degree burn that would take weeks to heal, judging by the look on the Director's face. He had bypassed furious and was now on to fucking foaming at the mouth.

Instead of throwing his righteous anger back in Pepper's face, he turned on Tony instead. "I would think that you would be working round the clock on this one, Stark. Daddy dearest wasn't your favorite person, was he? Can't believe you'd want to keep him round for more time than absolutely necessary. You know, it surprised me when you offered to take him home with you that first night. Who knows, _maybe Tony Stark really does have a heart_," he finished cruelly, echoing words that had caused him so much pain not two years earlier. Tony's eyes widened at the insult, shocked at the sudden biting comments. All he could see was the glowing arc reactor with the engraving Pepper had placed there; proof that Tony Stark has a heart. He had had to destroy that just so he could survive Obie's theft of his newer reactor.

And suddenly, he didn't care for diplomacy any longer. The man had touched all his sore points, and if the bastard wanted _answers_, then he could fucking _have them_.

"You know, you should really fire all your scientists, like, _all of them_, if they couldn't figure out that the portal wasn't even closed, wasn't even _close_ to being closed. In fact, it seems to be getting _bigger_. Oh, and another thing, we can't really send them all back. It's not that simple, Mr. Director Sir," Tony bit out sarcastically, fighting to keep his breathing regular and calm, even though all he really wanted to do was rip the self-satisfied grin off of the man's arrogant face. "This isn't the actual person being sent back. They're _copies_. That guy in there isn't really my dad, he's a copy of my dad. Even if we could, we can't send the copies back without causing a shit-ton of problems, so they'll have to stay here," Tony finished, a sour taste in his mouth and an ashen complexion on his face. For a moment, he thought he might get sick, right there on Nick Fury's fucking black patent leather loafers, but he swallowed the feeling back and glared up at the asshole. "Again, I'd advise you to fire your whole scientific department, if they couldn't even figure that out." With that final taunt, Tony stormed from the room.

When he reached the door, he paused in fear and shock for a moment, as he saw that Howard Stark was standing there, eyes wide and frightened, and seemed to have been there for most of the conversation. "Didn't your parents ever teach you it's impolite to eavesdrop?" Tony snarled, and then brushed past the younger man to the sanctuary of his own floor, his own room that only Pepper could get in to.

Howard was on the verge of crying. He hadn't even meant to listen in, but he had been born far too curious for his own good (something his mother had lamented over for years before finally accepting it as a part of her life). Did this mean that he would never get to go back, never get Steve out of the ice as soon as he could like he had planned, never get to marry this Maria woman, have Tony as his son?

Then he realized, that he wasn't even the real Howard. A copy, his son had said? What did that mean exactly? Was he a real person, or just a blank slate that looked and thought like Howard Stark would, or something even worse? Would he break down over time? Would he ever get older? Could he have children, could he react like a real human being? He was getting the shakes and his thoughts were going a million miles an hour, and he couldn't think, and he couldn't _breathe_, and suddenly he was falling, his fists hitting the ground as he tried to get enough air into his lungs. What was happening to him? Was he falling apart already, like a faulty reproduction?

Then suddenly Steve was kneeling beside him, talking him down from his panic, taking in his blown pupils and the sweat coating his freezing cold skin. "Howard, you need to breathe. Breathe with me, okay. In... and out. There, keep going. You're going to be fine." Following Steve's instructions, he slowly calmed down from the shock of it all, and threw himself against the wall when he could move properly again.

"Steve," he said brokenly, not quite sure what else to say in this situation. _I'm going to die, I'm not really a person, I'm not really Howard Stark, what am I going to do?!_ No, he couldn't actually voice any of these fears, so all that came out was, "_Steve_."

The look on his friend's face wasn't comforting. He looked sad and resigned, and all Howard could think was, _Oh great, he's only humoring me now. I'm not the real Howard, why would he want anything to do with me now? What am I going to do, what am I going to do?!_ The panic was starting to creep in again, but this time he was ready for it and quickly closed his eyes, trying to keep to the breathing rhythm that Steve had showed him minutes before. He wasn't expecting to feel Steve's arms wrap around him from the side, like Steve had taken a seat beside him and was offering all the support he could for now. It was shocking enough to bring him out of his internal panic and allow him to turn confused eyes up to the friend he had lost almost eight years earlier. He had never really stopped looking in all that time.

"Howard, you idiot," Steve said fondly, squeezing the man's shoulders comfortingly. "I don't care. You're still you. You're still Howard Stark, the crazy genius who made me my shield, and told me what fondue really was, and flew me into active warzones. You're still my friend, and you always will be, no matter what the scans say. You're _you_, and that's all that matters."

Howard really was crying now. He hadn't realized how much it would have hurt if Steve really had rejected his friendship. They had been through so much together, and he had spent so much time searching for him, that he didn't think he could live with himself if one of his best friends didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

"Come on, I'm sure Pepper's yelled Fury out of the building by now. It should be safe to come out, now." Steve was joking, _joking_, as if Howard hadn't just had two consecutive panic attacks and broken down on the floor in a mess for the past twenty minutes. He was a bit grateful that Steve was trying to lighten the mood; he didn't think he could really deal with anything more serious and somber, tonight.

That was, of course, when he remembered that his son-not-son was freaking out himself up in the penthouse. The continuous thuds coming from above them told them all they needed to know about Tony's emotional state at the moment. Steve ignored it though, guiding Howard toward the kitchen where he made the exhausted man a hot chocolate before shoving him toward his bedroom, telling him it was well past midnight and he needed to get in bed right this moment or Steve would _make_ him go. Howard had experience in being forced to bed by the larger man (he had never really kept a normal sleep schedule, but whenever he started thinking the electric coffee maker would be better utilized as spare parts for whatever he was working on at the moment and actually started tearing it apart, Steve would step in and toss him into his bedroom, sometimes resorting to actually sitting on him if he had to, to keep the man in his bed long enough to finally fall asleep).

Pepper wasn't quite sure how to fix this. She had, actually, shouted Nick Fury out of the building, using very creative and frightening threats to get him out as quickly as possible. When she was through with him, she had run back upstairs, using her access code to get into the penthouse. It was a mess by the time she ended up there, with furniture thrown about, a wide path made by the destruction, which lead to the bedroom, which was in even _bigger_ disarray. Tony sat amid a bundle of crumpled blankets that had fallen to the floor, and his eyes were red and watery.

"Oh, Tony. I know that's really not how you had wanted that conversation to go." He nodded dumbly, staring at the bedskirt. "Come here, let's lay in bed for a bit. You can talk to me when you feel better, okay?"

He didn't answer, but he did stand and fall onto the plush bed, rolling over so he could face her side of the bed. She crawled in calmly, staring into Tony's vacant eyes, waiting for him to say anything. He reached out and took her hand, playing with her fingers like a toddler, but she was used to it. It usually helped him think, to feel just a bit better, if he could hold her hand for a bit.

"I didn't mean to yell at my dad. I didn't mean for him to hear about it like that. I was going to explain it better tomorrow, when I was going to ask to do some tests on him. I didn't mean to make him cry," Tony said, both his exhaustion and regret tinging his words bitterly. Tony had gone through his whole childhood hearing his father make the same excuses, tired apologies that he hadn't meant to do it, he would never hurt Tony, though he did it again and again and again and apologized again and again and again and the next time things went bad, there he was again, slugging down bottle after bottle of the hard stuff, and yelling and screaming and hitting once again, only to apologize once he got sober enough to remember the fear he had put on his young son's face.

Tony had never wanted to be like his father.

Yet here he was. He had acted just like the man, throwing out barbs and jabs just because he was angry. He wasn't even angry at Howard, he was angry at the situation, and frightened about how Howard would react to what he had just overheard.

"I know you didn't mean to hurt your father, Tony. But you're going to have to explain things to him in the morning. He's probably frightened enough as it is, right now. What you told Fury made it sound like Howard isn't really a real person at all."

Tony's face fell, a bone-deep sadness and exhaustion slashing through his body as he sighed. "I'll talk to him in the morning, I promise. I really didn't mean to scare him. He looked like he was going to cry when I passed him. I've never seen him _cry_. Not even when Mom died," Tony confessed, burrowing closer to Pepper's body, wondering if they could possibly never ever leave this bed ever; if anyone would even notice their disappearances.

"Go to sleep, Tony. Everything can be fixed in the morning."

"Uh-huh," Tony mumbled, already halfway to sleep, he wrapped his arms around Pepper and breathed her in, thankful that he had her, at least.


	6. Emotions and Starks Do Not Mix

Things did not look any brighter in the morning light. It definitely looked like sleep and Tony Stark had had an intense game of hide-and-seek and Tony had lost horribly, as he woke with dark bruises under his bloodshot eyes and pale, taught skin. He was dreading breakfast, but he knew he had to fix this as soon as possible.

When Tony and Pepper finally entered the kitchen, Tony felt his stomach plummet. There Howard sat at his regular spot, with a plate of toast and eggs in front of him, untouched. Gone was the overconfident, grinning loon that had been at the table for weeks, now. In his place sat an almost catatonic young man; far too young, in Tony's eyes, to have to deal with all of this. He wasn't sure he could really fix this without messing up a few more times along the way.

When he looked over to Pepper for help, she gave him her most chastising look that made Tony feel an overwhelming comraderie with her poor future children, and then turned and took her own seat at the table. When Tony looked around the table, he saw Steve staring at him intently, his eyes dark with obvious warning. Tony wasn't hailed a genius for no reason; he knew that look meant that if he screwed this conversation up, Cap would be on him in an instant for hurting his friend.

Everyone else at the table was sitting in confusion, wondering where all the sudden tension had come from and why most of the table looked half-dead and exhausted.

Clint and Natasha, being the bad-ass, deadly assassins that they were, sensed danger coming quick and with one traded glance, deserted their breakfasts and fled from the room. Apparently they didn't want to stick around for the subsequent heart-to-heart or possible bloodshed in the near future.

Bruce was practically drowning in the tension, his muscles clenching painfully tight as his left eye twitched. Everyone knew that this sort of environment wasn't quite healthy for keeping the Hulk tucked away, and no one was surprised when he rose without a word and practically sprinted from the room after the two spies.

That just left Thor, who kept munching away on his Pop-Tarts obliviously. After a long moment, where it became obvious that Thor wasn't going to be leaving any time soon, Pepper cleared her throat to get his attention. Thor's gaze shot forward, eyes widening comically as he took in the agitation in the room. In his haste to leave, he accidentally threw his chair across the floor, and he even left his precious Pop-Tarts behind on the table.

Tony still hadn't taken a seat; instead he found himself frozen to the spot, staring down at his father. The poor man looked even worse than he did, with his red, bloodshot eyes. Howard's face was pale and sweaty, and the man looked like he was about ready to collapse right there at the breakfast table. The dead look in his eyes didn't put Tony at ease, either. Howard Stark had never looked this defeated in his life, Tony was sure. He wouldn't even raise his head to meet Tony's gaze.

And suddenly, Tony couldn't take it anymore. He too a seat across from Howard and set his hands down on the tabletop, staring over the unresponsive young man who just kept looking younger and younger in Tony's eyes.

"H-Howar...," he stuttered, and he saw the way the man closed his eyes in resignation. With a gusty sight, Tony lowered his chin, trying to catch Howard's eyes. "Dad," he breathed out carefully, "please, talk to me for a minute?"

Howard's head lifted slowly, his eyes full of something that looked suspiciously like hope. "Y-you still want to talk to me? What about yesterday; all the things you said, kid?" His lips were quivering in anticipation. Did this mean that what Tony had told the Director yesterday was wrong? Had he been panicking over nothing?

Tony laughed a bit breathily, shaking his head in calm amusement. "Of course I still want to talk to you." Tony's eyes softened as he said quietly, "I really didn't mean for you to hear about all of this like that," he explained, and watched as Howard's eyes went from excited and hopeful, to devestated and defeated once more.

"What does that mean, exactly?" Howard asked hesitantly. Here, now he could get the answers to all the possibilities he had been worrying over all night.

"It means that you are a copy of Howard Stark from 1952. Your body was probably made up of molecules from your surroundings when you materialized in that SSR base. I'm not quite sure of the specifics, we'll have to do some tests to be certain." He saw Howard start to turn green, and quickly moved on. "But just because you're a copy, that doesn't make you any less of a person. You are still a human. You've got memories and feelings and thoughts of your own."

Tony thought he was doing a pretty good job of reassuring Howard, if he could tell anything from the looks Steve and Pepper were giving him. Howard seemed stuck in shock and fear, staring down at his hands on the table.

When he finally spoke, it wasn't what Tony had been expecting. "You know, all my life, I've known who I was. At first, I was just the son of a fruit seller and a factory worker, who found trouble more often than anyone in the family would have liked. Then I went to school and graduated and started this weapons company, and I became the smart as hell new kid on the block with something to prove, and by God, I made sure I proved it. When the war came around, an inventor and a genius and a friend of _the_ Captain America. When he went down in the ice, I became an obsessed, desperate man, and I didn't like him. I've picked up a lot of bad habits in my life. But it was all real. It was all me. I have been selfish and heartless, careless and ignorant, a liar and a thief and a womanizer, an insomniac and claustrophobic and smart and funny and incredible and terrible. It all happened; I remember it all. And you're telling me that none of it ever happened to _me_; that I am not nor will I ever be, real."

Everyone at the table looked horror-struck. It was a few minutes before any of them could speak. Tony was the first to recover, and he seemed to become angry in the blink of an eye.

"Have you been listening to me at all? I didn't say that; I said you were your own person! _Person_, as in _living human being_. Real! You have the memories and the thought processes and emotions of Howard Stark in 1952, and that makes you as close to the real thing as you possibly could be. You may not be the original, who is now rotting away six feet under, but just because you're a copy doesn't mean that you aren't still Howard Stark. You're still _you_, you're still my _dad_," he said brokenly, his voice cracking towards the end, the emotion almost too much for him.

Howard was staring at Tony in shock. This was all coming from the son who he had thought hated him. And from what he had read about their relationship on the internet, Tony had every reason.

"You're real, Dad. Of course you are."

It took a minute, but eventually Howard nodded dumbly, lifting his eyes to lock gazes with his son. A sudden fondness overtook him, and a grin stretched across his face as he reached out and took Tony's hands in his own. He brought their hands to his mouth and kissed Tony's rough hands happily, the energy suddenly returning to his eyes.

"I love you. You know that, don't you, Tony?" Tony slowly turned red and ducked his head, but Howard was already moving around the table and wrapping himself around his son. Howard tossled Tony's hair enthusiastically and kissed his forehead, the grin stretching across his face something to marvel at.

Tony was uncomfortable with all the sudden enthusiastic touching, but slowly settled in to his father's hold, who was apparently refusing to release him until he reciprocated. "Love you, too, Dad," he mumbled, wrapping his hand around Howard's arm. Howard hopped backwards, a goofy smile on his face as he shook Steve's shoulder.

"See, Stevie, nothing to worry about. Everything's fine; I don't know what you were worried about!"

Steve rolled his eyes but gave Howard a small smile of his own. "Yes, I don't know what came over me," he grumbled half-heartedly.

"So," Howard announced to the room, running back over to Tony. "Are we going to go find Peggy, now? Please? Please! She'll be so happy to see Steve," he wheedled, trying (unsuccessfully) to tug Tony out of his chair. It seemed that now that Howard wasn't afraid of his son telling him he was nothing but a fake, that he had turned into an adult-sized toddler.

"I've had Jarvis searching for her since we got the news. The second he catches her on video, he'll let us know," Tony promised.

"Don't worry about Peggy, Howard. She knows how to take care of herself," Steve said fondly, bumping shoulders with the man happily. He was excited that Peggy was here now, too, and he couldn't wait for Jarvis to find her.

Maybe they could finally have that dance.

"Alright, I think that's enough excitement for one morning," Tony admitted, rubbing at his tired eyes. "C'mon, Dad," Tony said, motioning for the younger man to follow him. Howard grinned and practically skipped out the door behind Tony. They flopped down on one of the couches and leaned towards each other as Tony pulled a tablet out from somewhere and started showing Howard some new ideas for their clean energy plans.

Pepper walked in a few minutes later to find both men passed out on the couch, Howard's head resting on Tony's shoulder and Tony's hand resting over the tablet. With them seated right next to each other, there was no denying their relation. She took the time to snap a quick picture with her phone, and then moved the tablet off of Tony's lap and threw a blanket over the pair, who looked more like brothers than father and son. Pepper sighed in contentment, glad that this whole fiasco had been fixed so cleanly, with such wonderful results. Tony and Howard were no longer at each other's throats constantly, but were actually comfortable with each other, now. It seemed that this conversation had been what they had really needed to clear the air.


	7. A Good, Old Fashioned FightInCentralPark

The quiet lull that came after the explosion was almost surreal. There were no panic attacks, no fighting unless they were playfully sparring in the gym, no more tense conversations that left everyone feeling dirty. Everyone knew it could only be the calm before the storm, because nothing stayed quiet for long when the Avengers were around.

And just like clockwork, Jarvis chimed in revealed the good news. "Sir, I hate to interrupt, but I have a location on Miss Carter." Howard and Tony froze mid-argument, the hand Howard had been waving about in vexation refusing to move as he felt his heard stop. He met Tony's eyes and saw his own shock and excitement reflected there.

They evolved into movement once their brains finally processed the information, and then they were off in a flurry of action. Tony sprinted towards his newest Iron Man suit, Jarvis reaction quickly to help him get inside. Howard dithered near the door, waiting for Tony. He was practically vibrating in place by the time Tony finally clomped up beside him.

"Let's go, c'mon!" Howard shouted excitedly, grabbing Tony's gauntlet and tugging him down the hall.

"Hey, Jarv. Could you let Steve know to meet us in the lobby? A familiar face will put her at ease, right?" He gave it a moment's thought before he blurted out, "And see if Romanoff is busy. We could use her tracking skills. If anyone can find Peggy, it's her."

"Of course, sir. They will meet you in the lobby," Jarvis responded.

When the elevator doors pinged open at the lobby, Steve and Natasha were both waiting there. "What's this about, Tony?" Steve asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Jarvis found Peggy, Steve!" Howard crowed, transferring from laching onto Tony to latching on to Steve. The super soldier smiled fondly down at his friend, and then turned back to the conversation at hand.

"That's wonderful news, boys. But what does it have to do with me?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow as Tony lifted the faceplate to talk to her face to face.

"We could use your tracking skills. If you're not too busy, of course, Agent." Tony gave her his best pleading, puppy dog look, and she caved with a very put-upon sigh.

"Fine. I guess I wasn't doing much, anyway," she relented with an aggravated eye roll. She turned on her heel and marched towards the doors. Steve, Howard, and Tony trailed after her like a line of little ducklings. Once they were on the street, she was no longer Natasha Romanoff, but the Black Widow, and she was in her element. "Where was she last seen, Jarvis?"

"She was caught on camera heading West towards Central Park." He rattled off the address of the camera she had been caught on, and Natasha took it from there. "Alright, Cap. I need you to head down that street. It leads straight to the Park, but we aren't sure that was her destination. Howard, head down this street. It's full of stores; she might be looking for some clothes to better fit in, or even some food. Tony, head to the air and have Jarvis start scanning the crowds for any visual. I'll head this way; she might just be taking in her surroundings until she has a plan of action. If you find her, don't approach right away, but let everyone else know, so we can provide backup." She nodded to the others in dismissal and then they set off on their seperate ways.

As she wandered down the street, she let her analytical, stoic self slide away in something more calm, more natural, so she wouldn't tip off the woman if she was spotted. She kept her eyes on the crowds, checking the faces of every dark haired woman that passed by, but she knew she didn't really stick out much. There were all sorts that called New York City home; a beautiful woman checking people out in a crowd was not a new occurrance.

And, as the only person who did not know Agen Peggy Carter personally, it was her luck that she was the first to spot her. The woman sat ran rod straight on a park bench, her clothes obviously from this century, and obviously scrounged from a dumpster. She held a half-full water bottle in one hand, and a hastily wrapped sandwich in the other. Even clad in rags, the woman held herself like the competant agent she was, scanning the crowd at intervals while she nibbled on her sandwich. Natasha was impressed that the woman had enough self control to push her wonder at somehow being transported to the future to the back of her mind in order to keep herself safe and free.

There were two ways she could handle this situation, she mused to herself as she leaned up against a tree to fiddle with her phone. She could wait for the others to arrive, and have people that actually knew her deal with her. Or, she could engage the target herself. _Which would be more fun?_ she pondered, a feral grin lighting up her face for a fraction of a second before her face was once more a blank slate.

Well, she might as well have some fun with this. Tony had wanted her to tag along, after all. She stepped forward and casually took a seat beside Peggy on the bench. She quickly sent a text off to alert Tony, Steve, and Howard that she had found their target, and then she was ready to play. Peggy was tense from the moment Natasha sat down, but once she saw that the redhead's attention was solely focused on the device in her hand, she sighed, rolled her eyes, and took another bite of her sandwich.

Alert sent, Natasha put the phone back into her pocket and leaned back against the bench, watching the passing civilians. How to play this, how to play this. If she wanted to have any fun, she would have to act fast, before the boys arrived and took away all her fun.

She decided to strike up a conversation, put the woman at ease. Perhaps she would be boring and come quietly once she explained things? That would be disappointing.

"So, have you ever been to New York City before?" she tried, turning slightly to give the woman the smallest smile. She kept herself calm, relaxed, and inviting, leading the woman to believe she was harmless.

Peggy gave her a wide-eyed look, and then turned back to gaze at the crowds silently. Natasha frowned, deflating slightly. She was going to be _boring_ and ignore her. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry. I'm just waiting for my friends to show up. I've only been here for a few months, now. Still sight-seeing," she said wistfully, staring around at the trees.

_Take the bait, take the bait, show off, come on!_ Natasha chanted in her head, waiting for Peggy to answer. When the dark haired woman sighed, Natasha internally fist pumped in success.

"I've been here many times," the woman replied, turning to meet Natasha's eyes warily. "I suppose you could always go see the staples; Statue of Liberty, Coney Island, Times Square. Though things have certainly changed since the last time I saw them," she muttered to herself, but Natasha decided to leap at the statement.

"Oh, really? When were you here last?" she asked, keeping her voice inquisitive and interested. Wouldn't do if the woman thought she was boring her.

"Oh, quite a few years, now."

Natasha figured they had talked long enough for now, and that she needed to move fast if she wanted to have any fun tonight. She didn't think Peggy would take her true identity well, at all. She was counting on it, really.

"Ma'am, I haven't been totally honest with you," she admitted, throwing her a guilty look. Peggy looked unsurprised. As Natasha straightened up, unconciously mimicking Peggy's own posture, she stated, "My name is Agent Natasha Romanoff. I work for an organization named SHIELD, that is the successor of the SSR. By now, you have obviously figured out that you are not in your own time. You are currently in the early 21st century. It has been nearly fifty years since the second World War. I've been asked to find by some of your dear friends," Natasha stated, smirking calmly in Peggy's confused face. And then the confusion drained off into outright fury, and the water that had previously been in the woman's bottle was now covering Natasha. After she threw the water, Peggy wasted no time tearing off into the park.

Natasha nearly laughed out loud as she took chase. The other woman was dipping and weaving between people, trying to throw Natasha off course. Natasha followed easily, enjoying the thrill of the chase. It had been far too long since she had been allowed to hunt.

The wound deeper into the park, and the further the made it, the less people they ran into. "I'm not here to hurt you, Agent Carter. I've been sent by Tony Stark to collect you. You realize that this is your future, correct? Stark wants to offer you protection and safe harbor."

Peggy frowned over her shoulder, looking indecisive even as she continued to flee. Finally, she skidded to a halt and turned to glare at Natasha. "So sorry if I don't take you at your word, dear," she drawled aristocratically, falling into a protective ready stance.

Natasha smiled, taking in the woman's weak spots before adopting a similar stance. "Well, you'll believe me once the boys arrive. Until then, shall we spar?" she questioned, though she was already moving, slamming her fist through the air where the Agent's head had been seconds before. The woman was fast.

"You could pull out King George, Winston Churchill, and Franklin Roosevelt and I still wouldn't believe a word you say. Some woman who says that she is from the same organization that attacked me the moment I stepped from that file room shows up and says that everything is just one big misunderstanding? I don't think so," she bit out between punches, kicks, and thrusts.

When Natasha broke out her favorite move, Peggy fell to the ground, Natasha's thighs around her throat. "Y-you! You, you're a Black Widow! One of those girls!" she shrieked out in anger.

This inference shocked Natasha enough to release the woman. When had Agent Carter ever come in to contact with the Black Widow Program? The Red Room had been highly secretive.

As Peggy rose to her feet, a hand rubbing at her neck, the woman glared at her enemy. "You're part of the Red Room. They sent another one of you after me? I already sent Dottie on her merry way, and now they send yet another Agent? I must applaud the extent you were willing to go to fool me; you very nearly had me. Where are we, a soundstage, a set?"

Though Natasha was now thoroughly confused, she pushed it to the back of her mind as she muttered into her com. "Where are you three? She's getting very angry at me." Peggy's fist connected with her throat then, and Natasha stumbled back, choking on the shock of the hit.

The grin on Peggy's face now was frightening, nothing that Natasha was expecting from a future Director of SHIELD. Natasha felt a healthy dose of respect and fear form within her at the sight; the grin was frightening in its own right, but its halo of blood from her bleeding nose and split lip added a brutality to it, a madness.

Peggy made her move then, striding forward until the two women were a breath apart. They stared into each other's eyes, neither moving, until Peggy jabbed out as quickly and harshly as she could into Natasha's ribs, smiling in victory when she heard a rib crack. Natasha's eyes widened, and then there was no more calm to the Black Widow. Her eyes flashed and they were at each other's throats in seconds.

"You're going to tell me!" Peggy shouted, dodging a kick and throwing a punch. "I've run into girls from the program before; I recognize the moves. Now, what are you doing here?" Peggy jammed her hand into Natasha's thigh and felt her own wrist crack with the force behind the thrust.

Natasha refused to answer; all she could see was red. She tackled the woman to the ground, her hands on Peggy's shoulders as she slammed her into the dirt.

"You will silence that trap of yours," the Widow hissed, danger exuding off of her. "I am not your enemy, Comrade," she promised, though her eyes told another story. They promised pain and terror and eventual death after long, terrible torture while the redhead grinned and laughed and sobbed.

The men chose that moment to enter the scene, three hundred yards and twenty minutes too late. "Natasha!" Tony shouted, jumping out of the suit to jog over to her. Whenever she got this way, she hated him in his suit. She needed a human face, that she could recognize and latch on to.

The women were staring, Natasha in fury and Peggy in outright terror. Tony placed a wary hand on Natasha's shoulder, and watched as she turned dead, shark-like eyes his direction. "Nat, come back now, okay? We weren't supposed to hurt anybody. Yeah?" Natasha blinked sluggishly, her green eyes flicking over his face for a long moment, before she released her grip in Peggy's shoulders, and slumped down. Her shoulders shook with the pressure in her mind; she tried to beat back the monster that was the Black Widow at her worst, and felt mild success when Tony hefted her to her feet, prying her thighs away from Peggy's hips. Tony led her away a few feet, and left Peggy to Howard and Steve. Familiar faces would help with this, he was sure.

"Peg?" Steve asked, stepping forward slowly, warily. He hadn't seen Natasha go off like that in a long time. She was always so tightly strung and controlled, that he thought she had finally mastered that side of herself.

It seemed he was wrong.

"Peggy, are you okay? Did Nat hurt you? She can get a little overzealous, sometimes," he tried to explain, reaching out to pull her up. She sat on the ground, her face bloody, her throat already bruising, and her wrist twisted at an unnatural angle. Her eyes were dazed and far-away, staring at the spot where Natasha and Tony stood.

"Peggy!" Steve repeated, getting down and right in to her line of vision. When he was all that she could see, she raised her eyes to meet his own.

Shock filled her expression as she gasped. "S-Steve?!" she shouted, reaching out blindly, wrapping her arms around his neck and tugging him close. Her face buried in his neck, she heard another familiar voice grumble, "What am I, chopped liver?"

She released Steve to look over his broad shoulder at a significantly older Howard Stark. "Howard! What are you doing here?" Her eyes flitted from Steve to Howard, and then she exclaimed, "You found him, didn't you! You found Steve!" She stood on shaky feet and practically tackled Howard to the ground. "Thank you, you idiot. Thank you!" She pressed an exuberant kiss to his cheek and Howard chuckled.

"Oh, is that all I had to do to get a kiss from you? Well, I should have found him soon then, huh?" he joked, chucking her on the chin with a smile. When she simply beamed back, Howard sobered and explained a bit deeper. "I didn't find him, though, Pegs. When I showed up, he was already here. Apparently I never found him, but this SHIELD agency did find him seventy years after he went down."

Peggy's smile disappeared in an instant. "Howard, not you too. This can't be the future; you're not serious. Yes, the technology is extremely advanced, but that can be explained any number of ways. You aren't serious!"

"Sorry, Peg, but it's true." He stood and held a hand out to her, tugging her to her feet. "Come on back with us. We'll explain everything after you've had that wrist looked at." Peggy followed him down the path, Steve right at her other side. They met back up with Tony and Natasha, right in the middle of their conversation. Keeping quiet, they heard the tail end.

"I thought it would be fun," Natasha wheezed, holding her rib cage with a wince. Tony frowned down at her, shaking his head.

"Yes, only you would think that a simple little sparring session should end up with you going psycho. I'm sicking Hawkeye on you the second we walk through those doors. You're never going to hear the end of this," he promised, though the arms he had around her held her just as tight as before. His hand ran up and down her back, and she relaxed just a fraction. He looked up and saw the others waiting.

"Come on, we're all ready to go now." She nodded and followed behind him, her head lowered a tiny bit, her eyes far away and vacant. The fire that Peggy had seen minutes earlier had disappeared, replaced with defeat and fear and emptiness.

"I thought it would be fun," she protested once again, following after the others, he feet dragging in the dirt, before she admitted somewhat gravelly "It wasn't fun."

Peggy had to agree with the sentiment.


	8. Aftershocks

Steve spirited Peggy away the moment they stepped into the Tower, tugging her up to his own apartment. She followed without protest, looking far more exhausted than she had an hour earlier. It was late, nearing midnight, and Steve was staring at her wrist with obvious worry as she settled herself on his sofa.

"Steve, really. I've had worse injuries. I'll be fine." She rolled her eyes at his expression, biting his lip as he debated what to do. She supposed he had been rather mother-hen like during the war, always fretting over his comrades, but now he seemed to worry over the smallest thing. Perhaps he was feeling the same way about her that she had always felt about him; that even the smallest injury seemed like the deadliest of wounds.

Her expression softened as he continued to give her a look as if she had just kicked him in the gut. As she glanced down at her wrist, she understood why he was so worried; it did look far worse than it felt, really.

"Well, do you have a doctor in residence here, so you'll stop wearing a track in the rug?" she teased, loving how simple it was to fall back into the easy comraderie that she had missed so much.

Steve grinned and called out to the air, "Jarvis? Is Bruce still awake?"

"Dr. Banner is always awake, Captain. Would you like me to send him up?" a disembodied voice answered, and Peggy jumped as the voice filled the room.

"Yes, please," Steve returned, coming to sit beside Peggy as they waited.

"So, Dr. Banner? What's he like?" Peggy asked, just for something to quell the silence.

"He's a very intelligent man. I don't understand half the stuff that comes out of his mouth, though," Steve replied with a grin. "He's a physicist, works with gamma radiation. When he was younger, he had some kind of lab accident, and now he can turn into a 'giant green rage monster', as Tony puts it." He stated the facts with a calm, straight face, and Peggy felt as if she shouldn't believe him.

"Really?" she drawled sceptically, just as the elevator doors slid open.

"Hey, Steve. What's up?" The man that spoke was short and tan, with dark curly hair and round glasses. He seemed unassuming, but she knew that often the most unassuming were actually the most dangerous. She felt herself bristling uncontrolably. Was he safe to be around? Especially if what Steve had said was true...

Bruce seemed to notice her stiff posture and raised a brow at the super soldier. "I'm assuming you told her about the Other Guy?" Steve nodded, giving Peggy an odd look. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. I've got amazing control, trust me."

At his calm, self-depricating tone, Peggy felt herself relax, giving the doctor a small smile. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I don't mean to make assumptions."

He waved her off, getting down to work. "It's fine. I've gotten worse reactions before. How did you end up with a sprained wrist?" he asked, sounding a bit surprised as he handled her wrist with care.

"That redheaded woman with the Black Widow training. Though I admit the broken wrist was my fault." She watched as Bruce carefully wound the wrist with some gauze and tape.

"Yeah, Natasha can get a little over zealous sometimes. At least you seem to have held your own," he replied with a cheeky little grin, his eyes crinkling in mirth.

It took Peggy a moment, but she recovered quickly and swatted at the man's arm, her own grin splitting her face. He continued on in silence for a few more moments, and then patted her wrist and looked up at Steve. "She just needs to ice it for a bit, and it should be fine in a few days. A little stiff, but it'll heal quickly."

"Thank you, Bruce. We appreciate it." Bruce nodded and then excused himself, hopping back into the elevator in record time. Once he was gone, Steve retrieved some ice and handed it down to Peggy. Now that they were alone, he wasn't quite sure what to do.

"So. The future, then?" Peggy asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve's awkward stance. Did she really make him so uncomfortable?

"The future. Yeah," he responded eloquently, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. "It's 2014, actually. Howard appeared a few months ago, so you're not the first person from the past that's shown up. I have to admit, your appearance has been more shocking than Howard's was."

Peggy nodded, and then fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "I have to ask, Steve: have they figured out how to send us back?" She tried to keep the hope out of her voice, but Steve seemed to notice it and gave her a bright smile in return.

"Actually, according to Tony, we can't send either of you back. Apparently, you and Howard are copies sent forward in time. You are the exact same Peggy that was in 1946, but just copied and transplanted into the future. Even if Tony could figure out how to send you both back, there would be two Howards and two Peggys. Unless you assumed another identity, there would be no way to stay in that time."

Steve wasn't sure if he should be happy or apologetic. She had had a life back then, just like he had. But her life had already been lived by the original Peggy Carter, who now resided in an assisted care facility in Washington, D.C. He still hadn't gotten up the nerve to go visit her.

"A copy?" she choked out, and Steve rushed to calm her down. Maybe they should come up with another term to call it, other than 'copy'. It kept frightening their time travellers.

"Not a copy, really. You're still you. Tony had to have this same conversation with Howard, after Tony figured out what was going on. You're still Peggy Carter, you're still the same woman. You have the same memories, the same reactions and thoughts and feelings. You're just... living two lives at once, if that makes sense? One of you is living your life out in 1946, and one of you will live your life out here, in 2014." Steve continued to ramble, trying to reassure her, but he felt like he was doing a terrible job of it.

"Steve, please shut up." Peggy held up one hand to silence Steve and the other went to rub her temple. After a long moment, Steve tried again.

"Would it help if I got Tony down here to explain? He knows more about it than me, honestly." Peggy hesitated; did she really want to know the gritty details? Or would she rather just deal with it as it came?

"Yes, please," she decided, waving at the doorway. Steve relayed the request to Jarvis, who only took minutes to get Tony down to Steve's rooms.

"Hey, Capsicle. Aunt Peggy. What's up?" He came to settle on the couch next to Peggy, the picture of a millionaire at ease. Peggy felt her anxiety level up another notch just because he was being too calm. Instead of focusing on her fear, she latched on to what he had called her.

"Aunt Peggy?" she asked shakily, a small smile on her face. God, but she had prided herself on keeping up a stoic face during the war; while she worked with sexist men, while she took shit day after day she was the picture of grace and professionalism. But this situation was nothing she had ever prepared herself for, and she was visibly cracking around the edges.

Tony turned to face her, and Lord, but you could tell he was related to Howard Stark. His hair, the curve of his nose, his jawline. All of it was Howard, and then there were the things she knew weren't from him: the man's eyes, his shy smile. Howard had never been shy a day in his life, she was sure.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry. Habit," he tried to explain, his cheeks pinkening as he turned away, trying to avoid her eyes. "I mean, you practically helped raise me, when I was little, so I've been calling you Aunt Peggy since I can remember."

He went to continue rambling, but Steve cut him off gently, trying to return the conversation back to why he had called Tony in the first place.

"Actually, Peggy was wondering if you could explain to her about the whole 'copy'-thing. She was getting worried." Tony nodded in understanding and seemed to fall back into his territory, where he was comfortable.

"Well, as I explained to Howard, you're not really a copy, or a clone, or anything like that. It's like, whoever you were at the exact moment you got yanked into the future, that person is living two different lives. The matter in the room you appeared in was scavenged to give you a brand new body, the same body you remember having. You are your own person, but you're also the person from the 40's. It's confusing, I know." Tony smiled at her in apology.

"I... I think I understand. Thank you, Tony. So I didn't just stop existing in 1946. That version of me continued to live, and then I get to live here. Simple enough," she said, though she still looked dazed. Tony was nodding along though.

"Just try not to think about it too much. That's what Howard does," Steve suggested. Peggy nodded; yes, that seemed the best course of action.

"Are we all good, then?" Tony asked with a smile, but he was giving Peggy a funny look. He seemed to be staring right through her, like he was in awe of her very presence.

"I think we're good for tonight. Thanks, Tony." Tony nodded, and then took off the same way Bruce had earlier. When they were alone once more, Peggy turned to Steve and sighed.

"Now what?"

Steve didn't respond, but a shy, happy smile took over his face and Peggy grinned right back, feeling a heavy weight lift from her shoulders.

Natasha exited the elevator on her floor and instantly collapsed on her sofa, holding her side absently. What had happened? She had had a stranglehold on her baser instincts for years now, but one encounter with the famed Peggy Carter, and all that control had disappeared? Why?

She was so lost in thought that she didn't even notice when Clint settled beside her, taking her hand to inspect her side for himself. Without a word, he tugged her to her feet once more and moved her to the bedroom, where he could take care of her easier.

She sat in silence as he brought around the bandages and tape. He fixed her rib up quickly and efficiently, just how she liked it, and then settled next to her on the bed. Natasha rolled onto her side with a wince just to look into Clint's eyes.

"I lost control. I shouldn't have done that. I was so looking forward to tonight, because I thought I could have some fun. That didn't happen," she admitted, reaching out to absently run a long finger over Clint's arm.

Clint listened silently, and then leaned forward to wrap an arm around her and tug her into his chest. "You're my best friend, Nat. But sometimes you're an idiot." She grumbled at that, but Clint just rolled his eyes. "You know I'm right. What were you thinking, knowing how close you were to the edge and still going after her by yourself? She's lucky she's still breathing."

"The boys showed up in time. I was bashing her head into the pavement when they arrived."

"Well, then she's really lucky. If you were already down to bashing heads into the pavement, you must have been extremely pissed."

"She took me off guard," Natasha admitted. "She knew about the Black Widow program. Apparently she's met one of us before, someone named Dottie. I've never heard of her, but she was probably long before my time if Agent Carter had run into her in 1946."

Clint hummed in agreement and then they slipped into silence. There was time enough to berate Nat later; right now was for recouperating and resting.

Howard looked up from the machine he had been fiddling with as Tony wandered over to him, looking deep in thought. The older man took a seat at Howard's elbow and Howard was struck once more by how much older his son was than him. God, but the man didn't even feel like his son. Maybe an older brother, or a cousin, or something? Definitely not a son. If anything, it should be the other way around, especially since Tony kept having to guide Howard through the intracacies of everyday life.

The nearly fifteen year age difference might have had something to do with it, too.

"Hey, Tony. You okay?" He had noticed that Tony looked more pinched around the eyes, more confused and sad than he had been expecting.

"Yeah. M'fine. It's just...," he sighed, rubbing his face hard before he continued. "I've known Aunt Peggy my whole life. I've never seen her that young, though. And when I called her Aunt, well, she didn't react to it. She's always smiled, when I called her that, but she just gave me this blank look and I know why she did, but it still hurts. Like the lady that practically raised me doesn't remember me, and now I know what her kids feel like when they go visit her in Washington. And now I'm glad I haven't gone to see her since they put her in that facility."

Howard didn't know what to say. He had never really had to deal with the people he knew growing old and withering away in front of him. His dad had died young, and his mom was still pretty spry at fifty-five. He had never known his grandparents, and had never really been close with anyone else that was older than him.

"I'm sorry, Tony," he said softly, feeling so inadequate in that moment. Tony smiled weakly back at him and reached out for a screwdriver on the table, fiddling with it absently as he thought.

"It's fine. I guess I'll just have to make new memories with this Peggy, huh? Kinda like with you and me." Howard nodded, grinning wide.

With a strange feeling of peace, Tony grinned right back and turned to what Howard had been working on. "So, what are we making tonight?" And Howard jumped right on in, explaining what he was trying to create.

As days went by, things were going so well.

Probably too well.

So of course, that was when the nightmares began.


	9. Sees You When You're Sleeping

It was dark, and there was something in the emptiness. She could feel it, (_a presence_) breaths away from her face. She couldn't see though; she groped in front of herself in vain, shouting into the endless void, praying that _something _would happen, for surely _something _was better than this never-ending _nothing_.

And then her stumbling proved successful, because she tripped over something that had not been there moments before. The presence beside her, breathing in her ear, let out a long, slow chuckle, and then the darkness brightened to dimness, and she could make out the shape of a desk and a cabinet and a shelf. As she looked around in confusion, something shoved her back and she was falling again, falling back into the nothing.

And then she woke up.

Panting, sweating, heart beating erratically in her chest, Peggy scrabbled at her blankets. They were too constricting, tying her down to the bed she was trying to escape.

There was something in the room with her.

She heard the shuffle, the intake of breath, the nearly silent chuckle that broke gooseflesh out on her bare arms. There was something _there_, and she couldn't move, she couldn't scream, she couldn't do a damn _thing_.

And just like the savior he had been to so many others before he disappeared in the ice, Steve was there, flicking her light on and crawling into the bed with her. He took her rigid shoulders in his large hands, massaged away the tension as best as he could. He guided her down onto her back, leaning against the headboard with a frightened, unsure expression on his face.

His thoughts were plastered on his face: _should I stay, or leave?_

The very notion that he might leave her alone in the dark with that godforsaken _chuckle _bouncing around in her skull was enough to get her moving again.

Her hand latched onto his arm painfully, her nails digging into the flesh of his forearm. Her eyes were manic, her breathing ragged and fast, her voice earnest and convincing.

"Don't you _dare_."

So he didn't, and he stayed right there, wrapping her up in his arms.

Howard didn't like to sleep. There was something about being alone at night, with the shadows playing games with his imagination against the wall, the wind sounding suspiciously like a soft chuckle that he recognized from somewhere, but _where_, he wasn't quite sure, that made sleeping through the night nearly impossible.

So, he managed with catnaps during the day, passing out at the workbench with Tony beside him, or on one of the sofas in the lab with Bruce puttering around quietly in the background. There was always someone nearby, never complete silence. Even the simple sound of another living heartbeat kept the dreams at bay.

And he didn't want to bother Tony with something as stupid as sleeplessness. He knew for a fact that Tony suffered from insomnia, even more so than he did. No matter what time of day or night, Howard could ask Jarvis where Tony was holed up and he would get an answer that the man was working on some project or other, tinkering away until the sun rose once again and the circles beneath his eyes had gotten the chance to darken just a smidge more.

Tony had enough on his plate, without Howard coming to him with his own problems. Howard was no child. If Tony could deal with everything he did, then Howard could deal with a few sleepless nights.

That is, until he couldn't.

The dream was always the same. He opened a door, falling into a pit of black, and the chuckle followed him as he stumbled blindly through the gloom. He couldn't see, he couldn't feel, there wasn't even anything to hear except his own labored breathing and the ever-present chuckle that seemed to be laughing at his expense.

These dreams hadn't started until he wound up in the _future_, surrounded by people he didn't know and things he didn't understand and God, but he just wished he could go _home_. Peggy and Steve and, to a lesser extent Tony, were something familiar that he could latch on to, but he couldn't horde them to himself every hour of every day, and when he was alone, the dream crept back up on him, and it was like he was stuck in Hell, every time.

Jarvis woke him up this time, calling his name over and over until the darkness fizzled away into the grey light of early morning. Once he had opened his eyes, his face salty from tears he hadn't realized he had shed, Jarvis started his morning routine. Date, time, weather, news, anything to ground Howard in the here and now.

Howard blinked away the last remaining tears, scrubbing at his face as he stumbled into the bathroom. He _hated _that dream, he _hated _it with a passion so fierce that he didn't have anything to compare it to.

He wondered idly if Peggy had the dreams as well, or if he was alone in this, too.

Oh, Tony tried. Steve tried. Even Peggy was trying, as she worked to find her own place in this strange, new time. But Howard couldn't help but feel dangerously _alone _in all of this. What he wouldn't give to be able to sit with his mother if only for a few minutes, her long fingers stroking his hair calmly. Even his father would be a welcome sign of normalcy, though he hadn't really thought of the man in years, now. If he could just hear his father's gruff voice, going on and on about how no one wanted fresh produce anymore and how America was going straight down the crapper and just what was wrong with all these young people nowadays, anyway? He would weep in joy because it would be _ordinary_, it would be _normal_, it would be _sane_.

And as the days passed, he was feeling less and less sane.

Tony ducked into the kitchen on the common floor, wondering why all the people from the past were looking so glum this morning. Howard was staring into his bowl of cereal but not really seeing it; Peggy was curled up on her chair with a cup of tea, arms wrapped tight around herself and he noticed the slightest tremor ripping through her muscles as he passed. Steve was staring between the two, looking conflicted and frightened, unsure what to do to help, but wanting to so badly.

Steve gave Tony a brief look, filled with all the meaning he needed to get his question across: _do you know what's going on? _Tony shook his head, taking up a spot behind Howard and carefully placing his hand on the man's shoulder. Howard jumped like he had been shocked and turned hazy, too-wide eyes on Tony.

"What's up?" he asked, his voice hoarse and rough. Tony's brow furrowed at that, and made a mental note to ask Jarvis if Howard had been screaming or yelling much recently when the others wouldn't hear him.

"You doing okay? You look like crap," Tony asked carefully, taking the seat beside Howard, watching the man's shoulders slump in exhaustion.

"Just haven't been sleeping real well, is all. Nothing to worry about, I'll just catch a kip this afternoon." Howard didn't sound very convincing, even to his own ears, but Tony let it slide. He wrapped a hand around the back of Howard's neck in a comforting grip and started stroking the skin right at the base of his skull.

"Come down to the lab with me and Bruce, we'll see if we can help you get some shut eye. Bruce is real good with all those relaxation things, deep breathing and Zen and shit." Howard gave Tony a shaky smile and shuffled after him without further complaint, his soggy cereal left forgotten on the table.

Peggy remained where she was, not having payed attention to the exchange. Her mind was miles, _years_, away, stuck in a black hole of fear and pain.

Steve took her free hand, prying it away from her ribcage. She lifted her eyes at that, wondering who was touching her. When her eyes met Steve's, she sighed and placed her cold tea back onto the table, untouched.

"What do you say we try to catch a nap? You look like you could use one, especially after last night. That must have been one hell of a nightmare." He paused, waiting for her to say, to _do_, anything, but she just stared blankly back at him, her face tight and pale. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.

Her face screwed up in aversion, balking at the idea immediately, and tugged her hand back, holding it against her chest as she pondered his offer. A nap did sound promising, especially after the night she had had. Maybe sleeping beside someone else would be enough to keep the dreams at bay?

"I suppose a short nap would be best," she finally agreed, evading his question, rising to her feet and tugging Steve after her. They settled on the sofa together, Peggy easily fitting herself down beside him, basking in his warmth and the solid beat of his heart that she could hear through his chest.

Maybe this would work, maybe it would be enough.

Of course it wasn't enough.

Peggy woke two hours later screaming. Howard woke a few minutes later in a similar state, panting and frightened as his gaze darted around the lab.

It seemed that just having someone else around while they slept wouldn't be enough, anymore.

"Howard! Howard, what's wrong?" Bruce jumped at the panicked sound in Tony's voice, making his way through the lab to find Howard clutching at his chest, face pale and sweaty. Tony kneeled beside the sofa, pained and frightened himself. "Kid, c'mon. What's wrong?"

"It's so… d-dark," Howard stuttered, clutching onto Tony's shirt, dragging him close and burying his face in the older man's chest. Tony wasn't sure that was really a helpful answer, but he took what he could get. At least Howard had given them _something_.

"Well, it's not dark here. Not now. See, you've even got your very own nightlight." Tony tapped the arc reactor in his chest and chuckled when Howard locked his gaze on it, smiling shakily in the blue light bathing his face.

"Yeah, it's not dark now." He still sounded unsteady, but at least he didn't look so pale anymore. Tony wrapped his arm around Howard's shoulder and pulled him close again, stroking a hand up and down his back until Howard was breathing evenly again and didn't look two seconds from passing out.

Peggy wasn't faring as well. She jerked into consciousness with a choked sob, her eyes watering as she looked around the room. There was something there, she was sure. It had been right there, right next to her, she could smell its _breath_, for God's sake, it was _real_…

When something moved beside her, she threw herself from the sofa, landing on the floor in a heap. She wasn't so disoriented that she didn't think to land a wild punch in the nightmare's general direction, grinning wildly when she felt it connect with something yielding.

And that just seemed to release her from holding back. With a feral glint in her eyes and her hands stuck as fists, she turned back to the sofa and started punching. She was deaf and blind as she slammed her fists over and over into the monster. The thing that had stalked her dreams for nights; it was _taunting_ her, _laughing_ at her, and it was _right there_. When she felt something crunch beneath her fist, she felt the fog begin to clear. And then she saw just what she had been pummeling.

Steve.

It was _Steve_.

With a shaky breath, she pulled back and fell onto the floor once again. Steve was still moving, groaning and moaning about forgetting how hard she could punch. She was shaking so badly that she could hardly crawl away. Steve had black eyes, scrapes up and down his face, swollen cheeks.

There was no way he wouldn't be angry about this.

Hating herself even as she cowered in the corner, Peggy flinched when Steve got to his feet. She covered her head with her arms and made herself as small as possible. Steve's quiet footfalls brought him to her side, and then he was crouching at her side.

"Pegs?"

Slowly, ever so slowly, Peggy let out a shaky breath and brought her arms down, staring up at Steve with wide, pleading eyes. "What's happening to me?"

She sounded so broken, and Steve couldn't just sit by and do nothing. He collapsed next to her and tugged her into his arms, resting his chin on her head and rubbing circles on her back.

"I don't know. But we'll figure it out. I promise."

And, she supposed, a promise from Captain America was more than good enough for her.


	10. How Do You Feel?

Chapter Ten

When Howard finally passed out on the sofa in Tony's lab, Tony sighed in relief, running a hand over his face in exhaustion. As Howard was snoring obliviously just a few feet away, Tony decided to throw himself into the analysis of all the data they had collected so far. There were energy readings, accounts from the two time travelers themselves, and a running analysis on the building they had found the two in. There had to be some sort of common denominator, something the two situations had in common.

Tony was flinging information around when he heard the doors slide open. A quick glance showed him that Natasha had wandered in, a large bruise forming on her cheek and her wrist in a splint. Instead of looking vaguely pissed off like he was expecting, she actually looked a little pleased with herself, which raised his wariness up a few notches.

"Jarvis!" he shouted at the ceiling, a nasty habit he had picked up from the others in the tower. He never had these problems when he lived alone, what the hell. "I thought we were on lock down, down here! I'm busy." When Jarvis started to say something, Tony just waved him off, his frown morphing into an exasperated smirk. As Natasha sauntered further into the room, Tony turned his attention to her. "Ah, Natalie! What's up?" he ribbed. Though it had been years since she had infiltrated his company, he still enjoyed teasing her with her former alias. As she came to sit on the edge of his desk, he flicked away all of his work with the snap of a finger. In the background, Howard continued to snore on, happily oblivious to their little conversation.

"So. They're having nightmares. Steve's trying to calm Peggy down and I heard Howard screaming all the way up on my floor. Do you know what's going on?"

Tony sighed, rubbing a hand over his face once more. He glanced up at her, but finally decided that if he didn't tell her she would just find the information herself. He had learned that lesson the hard way. "I'm not really sure what's causing it. Stress? Time-displacement? Aliens? Really, it could be just about anything. We still have no information on what brought them here, what might happen to them because of it, or really anything at all. We're stumbling in the dark, here."

Natasha nodded along, following his movements through the holograms, before flashing him her best PR smile. She was oozing false confidence and insincerity as she batter her lashes at him playfully. "Well, that's when you do your thing best, right? When you have no clue what you're doing?"

Tony huffed out a startled laugh, reaching out to shove her lightly. It was rarely when the Black Widow joked with him, but he enjoyed her gentle ribbing much more than her vicious baiting. "Don't you just know me so well, Agent Romanoff?" He tried to laugh away his anxiety and worry, but even he knew he didn't do such a good job of it.

Her face softened ever so slightly, then, her eyes shining brightly. Her small hand wrapped around the nape of his neck in a rare show of physical affection, squeezing lightly. "We'll figure out what's going on, Tony. Don't worry." She paused just long enough for sincerity, and then wrinkled her nose up in over exaggeration. "But right now, you need to go take a shower, before Pepper gets here at two."

Tony nearly spluttered at that, jerking his arm around to look at his watch. "I forgot she's coming home today. Oh shit. Shit! But, what about Howard?" His worried gaze flew over to the exhausted man lying on his couch before swiveling back to Natasha. "This is longest he's stayed asleep for a few days, now."

She gave him an indulgent smile back, smacking her hand against his neck before leaning back against the desk again. "Go. Take a shower. I'll stay here with Howard. Go on," she continued, nudging him over toward the door. "Pepper will thank me, I promise." Tony smiled thankfully, still looking exhausted himself, and shuffled into the elevator.

When the door slid shut, Natasha settled down comfortably in Tony's seat, spinning idly in circles while she thought. She kept catching glimpses of the sleeping man on the couch, mentally comparing him to Tony. Howard was short, just like Tony. They both had the same dark hair. Howard's skin was a few shades lighter than Tony's, but that was no surprise; Natasha had always assumed Tony got his coloring from his Italian mother's side of the family. Tony's build was thicker and sturdier than Howard's lithe form. Something else they had in common were the dark circles under their eyes. Howard's were from lack of a good nights' sleep, but Tony's were usually from a weekend of binge inventing. All in all, the younger man looked extremely exhausted; more so even than Tony, who practically had a monopoly on the look.

It might have been a good hour later when Jarvis got her attention at the computer. She stopped spinning the chair long enough to bring up the alert, opening a video file. A familiar darkly dressed soldier marched into a known Hydra base, the base then exploded some twenty minutes later, and then the same soldier marched back out. She checked the time stamp and the location, only pausing for a moment in her decision to call up Steve.

She hoped Peggy wouldn't hold it against her.

"Nat? What's wrong?" He sounded sleepy, and Natasha had to wonder if anyone in this tower was getting any sleep. At least he sounded curious.

"We have a hit on your boy. Just destroyed a Hydra base single handedly. It's about an hour's drive from here," she revealed, already typing out a message to Steve and Sam.

She heard someone squeak on the other side of the phone, and then the sound of Steve hurrying to dress. "I need the location and a ride. Is Sam available, do you know?" There was more rustling, and then she heard Steve murmuring to someone in the room with him, before she heard the tell-tale sounds of him jogging.

"Way ahead of you, Rogers. Sam will meet you there, and I sent the coordinates to your phone. Did you really just high tail it out of your girlfriend's bedroom without telling her anything?" Even she could heard the disappointment in her voice, laying it on thick as she shook her head.

"I kind of left Peggy hanging," he said. At least he sounded a tiny bit regretful. "Do you think you could come and keep her company?" Steve asked, and she heard a few more doors swish open as he no doubt made his way down to the garage.

"I don't think that's such a good plan, Steve. We did kind of attack each other yesterday," she said, as dryly as possible. Even she could see the humor in this situation.

Steve scoffed, practically audibly rolling his eyes. She could just picture it. "I think you're both over that, by now."

Since he was no doubt rolling his eyes at her, she did it right back, with even more exasperation. "Fine," she relented, checking her phone to see that Sam had sent her his confirmation. "I'm watching Howard, too. I'll just have her come down here and they can keep each other company. Take your bike, it'll be faster. And Sam says he should be en route in about twenty minutes. He'll meet you there." She paused, a terrible sense of foreboding overtaking her as she suddenly thought of something. Cautiously, she asked, "Steve. How much do you want me to tell Peggy and Howard about your little mission? Does she even know what's happened to him?"

There was a long, damning silence, before Steve replied, slowly and awkwardly, "No. Do you think you could explain for me?"

Natasha crushed that immediately. "Absolutely not! I am not going anywhere near that conversation. She _your_ girlfriend, _you_ can suck it up and explain what the hell is going on yourself. I have to warn you now, though; she's probably going to be royally pissed off at you when you get back." She sighed at the grumble Steve let out on the other side, and then sighed. "Stay safe, Steve. Check in at regular intervals. _Promise_ me."

"Yes, mother. I promise," he snarked, before taking a deep breath, sounding much calmer and appropriately appreciative. "Thanks for this, Tasha. I'll call when I get there."

And then the line went dead and she groaned, leaning back in her chair. "Jarvis, could you ask Peggy if she'd like to join us down here?"

Jarvis did so, and a few minutes later the elevator opened once more. Peggy stepped over the threshold, looking around warily before making her way further into the room.

"Hello. Sorry Steve had to run off. I know he didn't give you much information, but it's a bit of a delicate situation," she tried to explain, giving her an empathetic smile. Peggy eyed her warily and moved over to the sofa where Howard was somehow still blissfully snoring away. She settled on the cushion by his feet and continued to study the lab with her sharp, intelligent eyes.

"Steve said he had to go help a friend. I suppose that's a good enough reason." She gave Natasha a tentative smile, before turning her gaze onto Howard. He snorted in his sleep, and then jerked up, staring at Peggy wide-eyed.

"Pegs? What are you doing?"

Peggy looked just as surprised as him at his sudden reaction. "Nothing. Steve had to rush off for something or other, so I thought I'd come down here and bother you. Are you quite alright, Howard? You don't look so well."

Howard scrubbed a hand across his face before giving Peggy a cocky smirk. "I'm just peaches, Peg." A cursory glance around the room told him that Tony had disappeared, but in his place was a tiny, beautiful redhead.

"Why, hello darling," he schmoozed, leaning over the side of the sofa to leer at her. Natasha knew a diversionary tactic when she saw one and raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him in response.

"Don't even start, Mr. Stark. I just watched you snore for an hour straight." Howard's flirty smile died a quick but painful death, and he turned back to Peggy with a crestfallen look.

"Peggy! It's not working anymore," he complained. "My charm has disappeared. What will I do now?" He threw a dramatic arm over his face and fell back on the sofa. That drew a dry chuckle out of Peggy, and even a small, surprising smirk from Natasha.

"I'm sure you'll survive," Peggy consoled, patting his knee in mock-sympathy. Then she let her eyes rove the room once more, before settling on the files on the screen behind Natasha. When the spy saw where she was looking, Natasha twirled in her seat, closing all the files with one fluid motion. She turned back to see Peggy glaring at her coolly.

"Was that information about Steve's friend?" she asked with a strained smile, looking like the picture of a vaguely curious socialite. Natasha was an expert at using masks to find out information, however, and she wasn't fooled for a moment. After all, she knew just how dangerous this woman could be when she wanted something. She had heard stories; _God_, but she had heard stories.

On the outside Natasha may have seemed calm, cool, and collected; on the inside, though, she was berating herself fiercely. How could she have been so careless as to leave that information up? "It was," she admitted, wincing slightly as the ice in Peggy's eyes hardened further. She wasn't going to be Peggy's favorite person for a long time. "I'm sorry, Ms. Carter. I really can't tell you what's going on. I told Steve he would have to explain when he gets back, because I want no part of that conversation." Peggy's glare intensified, but Natasha kept shaking her head. "He already tried to guilt me in to telling you for him. If I didn't break under his sad 'I'm going to be disappointed in you' voice, then I'm not going to break under your scary death-glare."

Peggy sighed and rolled her eyes, exchanging a quick look with Howard as she did. Well, if they wouldn't tell them what was going on, she was sure she and Howard could find out for themselves.

The thing was, though, that Natasha wouldn't leave them alone for a moment. Oh, she might disappear from their sightline, but they were sure she wasn't ever too far away. Sometimes, as they wandered the tower, they were sure they heard scuttling in the air vents. Why anyone would want to crawl through the vents was a mystery to them, but whatever.

It was really very annoying.

Howard and Peggy had decided to wander back up to their penthouse to bother Tony some more, but instead came face to face with a very irate redhead in a business suit.

"Tony! I reminded you yesterday, and I told Jarvis to remind you, and I even called you three times today! I told you how important this meeting was. Where were you?" she shouted at Tony, who was milling around near the bar, looking wide-eyed and spooked.

"I was working on what the hell is keeping those two from getting a good nights' sleep!" he answered, waving a hand in the time travelers' direction. Howard and Peggy just sent him unimpressed looks back.

"You can't blame us for not going to your meeting!" Peggy ground out, not wanting to be used as a scapegoat. She was already exhausted from a lack of sleep and irritated that Steve had left without an explanation; she didn't need Tony's shit on top of that, too.

The intimidating woman turned to look them over, her face set in angry, disapproving lines. When she saw them, though, she calmed down ever so slightly.

"I don't blame either of you," she said gently. "Tony is always doing this; getting caught up in some project and then conveniently forgetting about board meetings he _promised_ to show up for. If it hadn't been your problem, it would have been something else."

She waved a dismissive hand at them, and then turned on Tony again. "You _will_ be at the next meeting, Tony. Even if I have to drag you there myself."

Tony nodded, looking chastised and apologetic. He reached beneath the bar and offered her a flute of champagne. She rolled her eyes at the gesture but reached out for it none the less, downing half of it in one swallow.

In the lull that followed, Natasha appeared from seemingly thin air, sidling up beside Pepper with a commiserating smile on her face. All the tension Pepper had been holding in her shoulders seemed to bleed out of her then, and she handed Natasha another flute of champagne without a second's pause. Natasha accepted it happily and tugged Pepper to a further sofa, tugging them both to flop down.

Though they were too far away to hear clearly, it looked like Pepper was happily venting about her boyfriend to one of the deadliest spies in the world, and said spy was happily taking it. Peggy watched the interaction with a sort of painful longing in her soul. She had had few close friendships in her life; always on the outside, looking in. It seemed, even in this new century, her fate was to be the same.

Howard dug her out of her morose pity party to drag her over to Tony, who had moved on to grumbling to himself at the bar, a Stark tablet laid out in front of him as he tapped at it impatiently.

"You the barkeeper today?" Howard joked, reaching over the bar to shove Tony playfully. Tony eyed Howard unhappily for a long moment and Peggy thought perhaps they might get into an argument as well, but the moment passed with a huge sigh from Tony. He dug around beneath the bar and produced a dusty, half-full bottle, clanging it down in front of them before going back to his tablet.

"Go crazy, kids," he muttered, sliding two shot glasses down to them as well. Howard looked uncertain, like he was slightly shocked or confused at Tony's behavior, before he gingerly took the glasses, liquor, and Peggy over to another sofa. Even as Howard poured their drinks he looked troubled, throwing guilty glances over at Tony every now and then.

"What was that about?" Peggy finally asked, swishing her drink around before taking a sip.

Howard sighed, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa before answering. "I don't think he likes to see me drink, though he always offers. From what I gathered, the older I became the worse of an alcoholic I became. I don't think old-me was very kind to him when he was growing up." Howard looked extremely guilty and like a kicked puppy, and Peggy sighed.

"I guess this whole day was just built for tragedy," she mused, finishing off her glass and slamming it down on the table. "No sleep, no Steve, annoying babysitters, and everyone being pissy and walking on eggshells. Wonderful."

Howard nodded, leaning back into the sofa. He was tilted sideways so he could see Peggy better, and suddenly she just very dearly wanted to be back home, in 1946. She missed Angie, and her job, and even her meat-headed colleagues. At least she knew where she stood with them; now she was thrust into a new environment with people she didn't know but thought knew her, and it was exhausting. The lack of sleep wasn't the only thing attributing to her bone-deep all-encompassing tiredness.

She threw her feet onto Howard's lap and sighed when he started rubbing them for her. "Are you happy here? Are you glad we got brought to the future?" she whispered, her voice so low that Howard almost didn't hear her.

He bit his lip, rubbing his hand over his face before his eyes fell on Tony again, still sulking and grumbling behind the bar. "I really don't know," he whispered back, leaning closer so they weren't so easily overheard. It wouldn't do for his hosts to hear what he really thought of the future. "I feel like I should love it here. I mean, the technology alone is fascinating, and I have a full-grown son that's older than me, and there's no war or secret program to work on and that all makes me happy." He lowered his voice even further as he got to the bad parts. "But my son hates me, can hardly stand to look at me half the time. I know he tries to see me as some distant relative, not his father, but he can't lie to himself all the time. It kills me to see that. And to see the state of the world. Yeah, the tech's great but it hasn't really helped anything. There's still war and famine and genocide everywhere. Not even anything I did while I was alive helped with any of that. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that the future is a bit _disappointing_. I wouldn't _mind_ going home, but you and I both know that that's not in the cards for either of us, Pegs. If we went back, there'd be two Peggy Carters and two Howard Starks running around. You know the bloody anarchy that would surely follow," he tried to joke, smiling even though it was crooked and broken and wrong.

Peggy had to agree with his reasoning. The future was wonderful but she missed her home. Even if Steve was here, which was wonderful and amazing and brilliant, he was still so different. He kept secrets and ran off without explanation and she hated it. He treated her like glass, even when he had never dared to before, and it rankled her nerves like nothing else. She loved his comforting presence, could lose herself in his strong arms and deep voice, but she hated it sometimes, too. It was like a heavy, suffocating blanket holding her down.

She didn't even think he realized he was doing it, but that just made it even worse.

"Well, there's nothing for it," Howard said louder, leaning away from her to refill his glass. "We're stuck and we might as well enjoy it."

At that moment, Tony's AI came over the speakers turning the TV on for them. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I thought you might like to see the news," he said, flipping through the channels until a news broadcast popped up.

Peggy leaned forward, staring hard at the screen. There was Steve, in a darker version of his Captain America suit, something that looked much sturdier and darker, built more for stealth than the bright red, white, and blue of his wartime suit. He was throwing his shield at a group of men wearing black uniforms and body armor. The camera was too far away to see any distinguishing marks on the enemy, but she didn't miss Natasha's grumbled, "_Hydra_."

That had her ears perking up. Hydra had survived the war? Really? When she looked, Howard seemed just as surprised as her, though he kept his attention on the fight playing out on the screen.

Just when Steve looked to be getting overrun by enemies, a man with silver wings flew by and hit them from above with gunfire. Steve waved up at him and then continued throwing his shield about and slamming his fists and feet into them. It was nice to see that his fighting style hadn't really changed much, no matter how much time between then and now. Even with the winged man's backup, there were too many people for just the two of them to take down.

And _then_ the men in black started dropping like flies.

The moment the first fell out of seemingly nowhere, the Hydra soldiers started to scatter in a panic, like they knew exactly who was attacking them and were scared out of their minds. A few more were picked off from somewhere off screen, and then it was quiet for a few moments until another man in black, this time a different uniform than those of the soldiers, appeared beside Steve. At first glance she didn't see anything interesting about him, and then he turned, his left side to the camera, and all she could see was a shiny, metal arm.

Well. Wasn't that interesting?

Someone commentating on the feed shouted in shock and fear, "Is that the Winter Soldier? Why isn't Captain America subduing him?" The anchor sounded panicked and unprofessional, and Peggy sighed. Just another thing that had changed with the times. The news anchors of the '40's _would_ _never_. She had never heard of this 'Winter Soldier', but she supposed Steve must know him. No one else was panicking, either, so she decided not to, either. Everyone _was_ suspiciously wide-eyed, however, as Steve and the Winter Soldier worked in tandem to subdue the rest of the black-clad soldier, with aerial support from the man with the wings.

Once the last man fell to the ground, Steve and the Winter Soldier faced off, the Soldier skittering back a few feet while the man with the wings landed behind Steve. They seemed to talk for a long while, Steve waving his arms wildly at one point, and the Soldier striking his hand through the air in one smooth motion, keeping all of his motions short and sullen. He seemed almost defensive in the face of Steve's expressive face.

It went that way for a long while; they traded words back and forth while the news anchors pondered over what they could possibly be talking about for that long. Finally, the Soldier gave Steve and uncertain, jerky nod, and followed him and the winged man off screen, somewhere the camera couldn't follow.

"Well, shit. He finally managed it," Tony said, sounding shocked as he muted the TV. He stood behind Peggy and Howard's sofa, hands clenching the back so tight his knuckles went white.

"Should probably get a containment room set up," Natasha mumbled, eyes wide and wary, even as she stood and rushed from the room.

Just as the elevator doors shut behind her, another alarm went off and a different video popped up, this one black and white surveillance of a deserted office building. Peggy and Howard instantly recognized it as the office they had both appeared in, and silently worried over who had arrived this time.

He was shaking, even as he stepped into the empty room from the records room. He was squinting around, short hair shaggy and falling into his eyes as he looked around, wide eyed and covered in dirt. Then he seemed to notice the camera light blinking in the corner and looked right at it, eyes dead and jaw clenched. He reached down to his hip and produced a pistol, took aim, and blew out the camera in one quick shot.

It was enough time to see that their newest guest was none other than James Buchanan Barnes.

Peggy and Howard didn't quite understand why Pepper and Tony had gone so paper white at the sight.


	11. Bucky Barnes Retrieval Squad

The room was silent, Pepper and Tony frozen on the spot in shock. Peggy had always been a take-charge kind of person, though, and took control of the situation right away. "Well," she said, standing up in one quick motion, "are we going to collect Sargent Barnes or will your SHIELD agents be mucking up his introduction to the future, like they did with us?"

Tony blinked quickly, wide eyes staring at her blankly until Pepper slapped him lightly in the chest. "Right. Yeah, we have to go pick up the Sargent. Holy fuck, this day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?" He rolled his shoulders and stalked out of the room. When no one followed him, he shouted down the hall for them to hurry up or he would leave them all behind.

Peggy and Howard were happy to be leaving the tower, especially if they were getting another time traveler to bring home with them. Neither of them had been particularly close with Sargent Barnes during the war, but they knew for sure that his presence would make Steve happy.

Everyone followed Tony down to a parking garage and in to a large SUV. Pepper voiced her surprise that he was actually driving it himself, but he waved her off, saying something about it being too short of notice to call Happy for a ride. He sped down the busy New York streets, no doubt breaking quite a few traffic laws. It made no matter to Peggy, who had sat in the back seat while Colonel Phillips had driven her and Steve at break neck speed after Schmidt's plane. And Howard had always been a bit of a thrill seeker, anyway, so he was just enjoying the ride. The SSR facility that housed the odd time traveling portal was only a mile or two further into the city than the Tower, thankfully, and they arrived in record time.

They pulled up outside and peered through the windows, like they were expecting Barnes to suddenly appear and ask them nonchalantly, what's up? Everything was eerily silent, though. There weren't any lights on, and Tony wasn't getting an answer from any of the SHIELD agents that had been posted there for this very reason.

"Just can't find good help nowadays," Tony grumbled, rolling his eyes as he stepped out of the SUV with his briefcase. Peggy and Howard looked on with fascination as Tony set it on the ground and kicked a button on it, the Iron Man suit springing up and wrapping around him in seconds.

"Wait!" Peggy shouted, jumping out of the car as well. "We're coming with you."

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Aunt Pegs," Tony said, his voice tinny and robotic coming through the speakers of the suit.

Peggy just rolled her eyes and physically dragged Howard out of the backseat with her. Tony threw up his hands in defeat and turned to Pepper, as if expecting her to want to tag along, too. "Don't look at me. I'm staying in the car like a sane person," she announced, hands placed primly in her lap.

Tony just shrugged and turned back toward the building, not waiting for Peggy or Howard to catch up with him. They were only a step behind him when he pried the front doors open, poking his head in before taking a step inside.

"Stay behind me, alright? He's got a gun; I don't want either of you shot."

"Is the bright red metal armor really the best first impression we want to give him? I mean, other than the SHIELD agents that he apparently already took out," Peggy asked, Howard nodding along beside her.

"Cap told me that good ol' Bucky Barnes loved all those shitty dime store sci-fi novels when they were younger. He'll love the suit. Besides, we don't really have much of a choice. I don't want to get shot by shoddy World War II weapons, thanks." And then he was clanking down the hallway, checking each room he passed for some sign of life. Remembering the way to where they had originally found Howard, Tony went straight to the same room. Looking around for clues and finding nothing but the busted surveillance camera and an unconscious SHIELD agent at the doorway had Tony sighing once more. He kicked the agent lightly and rolled his eyes when all he did was groan.

"Quality agents, my ass," he grumbled. He had Jarvis take a scan of the room, but no one was in there except the agent on the floor.

Tony groaned and turned around. "Okay, J. Are there any other heat signatures in the building? It seems like a waste of time to search everywhere if he's already flown the coop."

Jarvis took a moment to work through the scans, but his slightly panicked voice came back a moment later.

"Sir, there is an armed man fitting Sargent Barnes' description approaching the vehicle where Miss Potts is sitting."

Tony didn't waste any time, twisting on his heel and jetting back outside. It took Peggy and Howard longer to get back down to the ground floor, but when they did they found Pepper standing outside the car, looking a little shaky but no worse for wear. Her skin was glowing a faint orange, the light coming off of her glinting off of Tony's metal suit.

Barnes was slumped on the ground, his blue army jacket smoking slightly.

"You didn't injure him, did you?" Peggy asked, worry bleeding through to coat her voice. She stepped over to loom over Barnes, trying to see if he was hurt or not. Other than looking scruffy and dirty, he seemed to be all in one piece, if unconscious.

"I think he's fine," Pepper said, taking deep, even breaths to try and calm herself down. "I only singed him a little bit."

Howard gave Barnes a passing glance before hopping over to Pepper's side excitedly. "How did you do that? Why are you glowing?"

Pepper rolled her eyes, trading a look with Tony over Howard's shoulder. Talking with Howard always reminded her of talking to an even more excitable, younger Tony Stark. "It's a long story. I got experimented on as leverage against Tony, because he pissed off a scientist. I'll give you all the details later if you help Tony get Sargent Barnes into the back seat."

Of course, with that incentive, Howard did as he was asked. He took one of Barnes' arms while Tony took the other, and together they shoved him (a little roughly, whoops) into the center of the back seat. Peggy took her seat again and deftly removed the gun from his slack hand, pocketing it for herself. Then Howard slid in on his other side and Tony and Pepper situated themselves in the front after Tony slid the suit back off.

"This is gonna be great. I'll need popcorn. Rogers is gonna _pass out_, I swear," Tony babbled excitedly. As he started the car, he swore loudly and fluently in a few languages while pulling back out into traffic. "This is why I pay for a chauffeur," he complained, honking at a particularly offensive driver next to him.

He was so loud that he woke Barnes up. He was still propped up between Peggy and Howard, and he jerked awake with a growl and then a yip when Peggy smacked him on the back of the head to get his attention. Tony just kept screaming at the other drivers while alternately trying to keep up a pleasant conversation with Pepper.

Barnes rubbed the back of his head and looked around the inside of the car, wide eyed and confused. His eyes widened when his gaze fell on Howard. "Holy shit, Howard, what the hell happened to you? Why do you look so old? I was _just_ walking in to your tent and two steps in, I realized that that was not your fucking tent." Another slap to the back of the head had him swiveling to face Peggy, and he blanched quite comically. "Sorry, Carter. What's going on?" He glanced past her to the window and dropped everything to stare open-mouthed at the New York night life.

"Holy cow," Barnes breathed as they passed into Manhattan.

Tony snorted from the front seat. Barnes frowned, glaring at the people he didn't recognize. "And who the hell are you?" His gaze fell on Pepper's long red hair and he flinched slightly, looking like a chastised school boy again. "Sorry, ma'am. Didn't mean no disrespect," he grumbled, giving Peggy a side-eye, half expecting to get hit on the head again. "I'm just really confused about what's going on. Who were those fake-ass military goons I took out back there? And, no offense, but what was up with that orange shit, lady?"

"Alright, one thing at a time," Tony started, still weaving them closer and closer to the Tower. "I know it sounds like shit, but congratulations. Welcome to the future. Peg and Howard will vouch for me, they've been here longer than you." Barnes turned to look at them skeptically, but they both nodded and turned back to Tony. "My name's Tony Stark, Howard's son. This is my girlfriend, CEO of Stark Industries, and epic badass, Pepper Potts." Pepper rolled her eyes, hitting Tony playfully in the shoulder.

"Do you really have to introduce me like that every time you meet someone new? It's alright right now, but when you introduce me as a 'badass goddess of all things corporate' people tend to think you're lying," she said, exasperation and fondness thick in her voice.

Barnes stared at their back and forth in bemused silence, before leaning in to Howard and whispering loudly, "Are they always like that? It's adorable."

Tony stopped talking long enough to turn around and playfully glare at them, and then went right back in to talking shit with Pepper.

"So, the future, huh? How'd that happen?"

"Well, what were you doing before you showed up? I was doing paperwork, and Howard was working in his lab," Peggy revealed, turning to face Barnes fully.

"Like I said, I was walking in to Howard's tent at camp and then when I stepped through, I was in that creepy, dark office. That was time travel, then? Neat."

Howard grinned, showing more teeth than was really necessary. "Wow. You're taking this much better than either of us did. Tony was right, you really must have been in to all those 10 cent novels." Barnes gave him a funny look, so Howard brushed it off and continued on. "It's not quite time travel, anyway. More like cloning and time displacement, if you want to get really technical."

Barnes raised an eyebrow but nodded along anyway. They were pulling in to a parking lot beneath the Tower now, and Barnes stared at the bright lights and odd-looking cars that they passed. When Tony parked and stepped out of the car, everyone else followed suit.

"Alright, Barnes. This is my building. Houses the Avengers, a little world-saving team put together by the successor of the SSR. You'll get the whole tour and everything after we settle you in."

As Tony babbled on and on, they wandered in to the elevator and zoomed up to one of the uppermost floors. Barnes was itching to look out over the city from that high up, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. He tried to ignore the fact that he was in a small, enclosed area with people pressing in around him from every side. He still didn't like small spaces, even after months away from Zola and the Hydra base he had been held captive in. With Tony and Pepper in front of him and Howard and Peggy beside him, Barnes felt calmer about the situation than he thought he really should.

As they got closer to the top, Barnes saw Tony's head jerk up in alarm. Barnes felt his body going on high alert right away, looking around for a danger he couldn't see. "Shit. _Shit_!" Tony mumbled, turning to look at Barnes before giving Pepper a slightly manic look. "Pep, Cap's bringing _the Soldier_ here. How the hell do we explain _him_?" he asked, throwing a thumb over his shoulder in Barnes' direction.

"Wait, did you say Cap? As in Captain America?" He turned to Peggy and smiled timidly, body still thrumming uncomfortably with adrenaline. "Steve's here, too?" His grin was toothy and wide, his shoulders drooped down in relief. When the doors pinged open Barnes followed the others out happily, only a little deterred by the panicked look on Tony's face.

The tiny spring in his step wasn't there for long. Barnes got one good look at a dark skinned man with a military posture standing by the sofa, Steve sitting ramrod straight on a chair with a worried, faraway look on his face, and a dark haired man stomping from one side of the wall of windows to the other before all hell broke loose.

Their eyes met and suddenly he wasn't smiling anymore. He assumed this was the Soldier Tony had been worrying about, and he could see why. The man had _his face_, looking half-feral and downright murderous. The Soldier's eyes flicked quickly between Steve and Barnes, before he was lunging across the room and pinning the younger to the wall with a snarl like a wild animal.

All Barnes could think was what. The. Hell.


	12. Barnes Meet Barnes

**A/N: There is quite a bit of swearing in this chapter, mostly because Bucky Barnes was in the military and has the mouth to prove it. Also, translations for any Russian is at the end of the chapter.**

The shock wore off after a few moments, and Barnes was soon thinking clearly enough to push away the fact that this man had _his face_ long enough to slam a fist in it. His hand erupted in pain and the Soldier only looked vaguely more murderous than he had before, but he backed up a step, enough for Barnes to pull his arms up protectively in front of him, his old boxing lessons taking over like second nature.

He could vaguely hear Steve and the others shouting at them through the haze clouding his mind, but he ignored that just like the pain in his hand and threw himself into the fight. He had to admit, whatever happened to him in the future really improved his fighting skills, because his twin was really kicking his ass here. There was probably a joke here somewhere, but he was a little busy getting bloody and exhausted to think of it.

The Soldier was like a deadly mixture between a battering ram and a goddamn ballerina. He would throw the whole force of his body behind his punches, holding nothing back, especially with that fucking monstrosity of a left arm. When Barnes would parry and then return with his own throw, the Soldier would fucking _pirouette_ out of the way, spinning until he was out of reach, before the whole thing would start over again. Considering they were the same person separated by more than 70 years' difference of experience, Barnes was still surprised by how unevenly matched they were.

And then, of course, that was when the Soldier threw him down to the ground, standing over him with a snarl on his face, his fingers twitching like he really wanted to wrap them around Barnes' throat but was physically holding himself back. As he took another menacing step towards Barnes' sprawled out body, no one really noticed Peggy grab the heaviest thing she could see and sneak up behind the Soldier.

She reared back and slammed the vase into the Soldier's head, vase shattering to pieces upon impact. It didn't seem to do much, except turn the Soldier's focus from Barnes onto her. She didn't look frightened in the least.

With hands on her hips, feet firmly planted, and eyes burning with outrage, she had the immediate attention of the rest of the room. "Sargent Barnes, stand down_ now_! That is an _order_!" she demanded, pointing a finger at the ground in front of her.

The Soldier gave her a funny look, equal parts confused and amused, but he did lower his arms and instead stand at the ready, eyeing her warily. "I know you," he said slowly, like the words were painful to string together.

Now it was Peggy's turn to look amused while also having no clue what was going on. "Of course you know me. We went to war together, didn't we?" She traded a look with Steve that told him they were going to have a _very long_ conversation about this later. She turned back to the Soldier, her gaze softening as she took in his long hair, the dark circles beneath his eyes, and the general unhealthiness of him. "Oh, dear. What's happened to you?"

The Soldier's face closed off immediately, turning away from her as his body tensed. He looked back down at his doppelganger on the floor, still trying to stand up after the ring to the head the Soldier's metal arm had given him. Had he really ever looked that young? Had he really ever been that weak? How was this all possible, anyway?

"I don't… _understand_," he began, turning to face Steve instead. Barnes raised his head from the ground, as well, his arm waving in the air.

"Join the club, buddy. What the fuck is going on?" he grumbled. No one moved to help him up, but everyone did turn to give him dirty looks. He had been in the army, though, and didn't give two fucks what anyone else thought of him. The Soldier was glaring at him so hard Barnes thought he might pull something. The dark skinned man started toward the Soldier, placing himself between the two and gently herding the Soldier to the other side of the room.

Steve was busy rubbing his face, lost eyes flickering between the Soldier and Barnes, like he didn't know who to talk to first. With a full body sigh, he turned first to the Bucky sprawled on the floor.

"Buck, really? The first thing you do is get in a fight with yourself?" He said it like a joke, but the look on his face was strained and Barnes didn't think he was really in the mood for joking.

"Naturally," he said in response, using Steve's outstretched hand to haul himself up. He heard a growl from across the room and raised an eyebrow at his older self. What the hell had happened to him that he communicated mostly in animalistic growls and snarls now, instead of words? "Now, anybody gonna explain this?" he asked, waving a hand at the Soldier. "I know this is the future and all, but I look like _shit_!"

Steve looked distressed, throwing a worried glance back over to the Soldier and the black man trying to keep him calm as he glared at Steve and Barnes' interaction. "It's a really long story, Buck. I swear I'll explain, but I kind of need to take care of him right now. Will you be alright with the others for a few minutes?"

Barnes rolled his eyes but grinned anyway. "'Course, I'm fine." He waved at his scary twin in the corner. "Go calm him down, I'm swell." He stood up and shoved Steve over toward the corner, then went to lean against the back of the sofa. Everyone was trying to look like they weren't staring at the Soldier and Steve, while they absolutely were.

Steve paused for one more moment before he stomped over to the Soldier, who was grumbling to the dark skinned man too quietly to be heard by anyone else. "Hey, Buck," Steve said softly, reaching out to put a hand on the Soldier's shoulder. He jerked away like Steve's touch was burning, barking something angry and resentful in Russian.

"Sam? Do you know any Russian?" Steve asked, looking hopefully to the dark man, who was shaking his head. The Soldier flopped down on another sofa near the windows, glaring at the large group near the elevators still milling around. Barnes just thought he looked like he was pouting.

The Soldier's face turned thoughtful for a moment before he let out another long string of Russian, ending it with a quiet, hopeful, "Natalia?"

That seemed to mean something to Steve, because he turned around and asked the room, "Where's Natasha?"

"Right here," she said, exiting the elevator with Clint in tow, her hand wrapped around his wrist. As they passed, Peggy gave her a nod of pride at the manhandling, which Natasha returned with a smirk of her own.

She dropped Clint's hand once she caught sight of the Soldier. Barnes watched her slip up beside Steve, giving the Soldier a long, hard look while she was there. He returned it, his face blank but his eyes wide and pleading. Barnes had never known his eyes could even _do_ that. After a while, Natasha's face softened and she sat down on the sofa beside the Soldier, twisting her body to face him fully.

"Я сожалею, что я в тебя стрелял. Дважды." He winced at the end, looking up at her guiltily. She just reached out and patted his arm, her smile a tiny but real thing.

"What did he say?" Steve asked, saying the question everyone else was thinking in the room.

"He said he's sorry he shot me. Twice." She turned back to the Soldier. "Вы помните меня?"

The Soldier stared down at his hands in his lap, twisting them together uncomfortably. "Да, конечно, я Наталья." His smile looked bitter. "Вы являетесь одним из лучших вещей, которые я помню."

Her smile was blinding and Barnes had to wonder just what the hell they were saying to each other. It seemed to be something mushy, considering the redhead's face kept getting softer and softer every time the Soldier spoke.

"Ah, I _have_ missed you, Yasha." She leaned forward and kissed the Soldier's cheek, then pulled back to face the rest of the room. The Soldier looked pretty pleased with himself, practically preening in his seat the same way Barnes used to after he finished making time with a pretty dame.

"Alright," Barnes cheered quietly, groaning slightly at the pain in his body from the Soldier's fists, "good to know I still have the moves seventy years from now. But what's going on? I assume you two know each other, and no one else knew that because everybody looks just as surprised as me."

The redhead looked Barnes up and down, but the look did not make him feel reassured. It looked more like she was noticing all of his flaws and inadequacies so she might use them against him later. It was a frightening feeling, like being beneath a microscope. He had had enough of that with Zola, _thanks_.

"Natalia, you are scaring him," the Soldier said, a little grin playing across his lips. He winked at Barnes, looking much less like the wild animal from just a few minutes ago. Barnes reeled at the change. Was this Natalia really so important to him?

Barnes saw Steve watching the interaction with a mixture of confusion, happiness, and bitterness. "How come you didn't tell me you knew him? When we were chasing after him, all that time, you never said a word." Oh no, there were the sad eyes that never failed to make people feel guilty.

Natalia seemed immune to it, though. "Well, at first I didn't know it was him, what with the mask and all. Then when I finally saw his face, I also noticed how different he was than when we were in the Red Room together. I knew something was wrong, so I didn't say anything. Plus, you were marinating in enough man pain about it all without me adding even more on top of it. I knew he would come in from the cold sometime, so I let you go on your worldwide search, but I didn't help because I knew he'd come back." She patted the Soldier's knee and everyone watched as he practically melted beneath her touch.

Steve was glaring at the floor, looking very unhappy with the whole situation. Barnes stared at them, glad that he had at least had some sort of relationship in the last seventy years. She obviously had a strong hold over him, was very important to him.

There was a lull in the conversation then, Natasha and the Soldier going back to Russian as they stared deeply into each other's eyes like some lovesick teenagers. Barnes nearly gagged at the sight. The others gathered near the elevator dispersed, now that the drama was finished. Barnes continued to lean against the back of the sofa, feeling his jaw, contemplating everything. He was _pretty sure_ it might be broken, but he could already feel something trying to fuse back together there, which was _weird_, but whatever. He had stopped asking himself what was going on when it came to the weird shit his body had been doing lately.

Denial was a wonderful thing.

He was so deep in thought, he almost didn't notice when Steve sidled up beside him, hands deep in his pockets. He only looked a few years older than the last time Barnes had seen him.

"Hey, Buck," he said, just like he had greeted the Soldier earlier. Barnes raised a shoulder in response, still staring down at his hands. So, he had apparently lost his left arm at some point? That must have hurt like a sonofabitch.

"You gonna explain now, or do I have to wait in line? I think Pegs is ready to chew you out." Steve winced, looking up long enough to see Peggy standing across the room with Pepper Potts and Howard Stark, a dark look on her face as she continued to glance over at Steve every now and then.

"Yeah. That's gonna be fun later," Steve complained sarcastically. He leaned his shoulder into Bucky's playfully, and smiled when Bucky shoved back. "Alright. Like I said, it's a really long story. When exactly are you from?"

"November of '43." He raised an imaginary glass towards Steve with a sick little grin on his face. "You just rescued my sorry ass from a Hydra facility about three weeks ago."

"Right. Then there's a lot I still have to explain. Well, in '44, we went after Zola. He was on a train, and we zip-lined down to it from the Alps. Everything was going fine, but then some idiot with a tesseract fueled weapon shot you right out of the train. I tried to reach you, but you were too far away and then you fell. I thought you were dead, and a few days later I crashed Red Skull's plane in the Arctic. It was full of bombs, heading straight to New York. I got flash frozen, and woke up seventy years later when SHIELD, the organization that took over for the SSR, found me. And then there was this whole thing with aliens, and then I went to work for SHIELD full time. There was this big scandal last year, when we found out that Hydra was actually hiding inside of SHIELD. That's when I found you again, too. Turns out, after you fell in the Alps, the Russians picked you up and handed you over to Hydra. Apparently you spent some time with the Russian Red Room, too, where Natasha was trained. Hydra did some really messed up stuff to you, wiped your memories so you wouldn't remember or try to think for yourself. We fought and I guess it jogged something because you didn't kill me. Sam has been with me the last few months. We've been looking for you, ever since I got out of the hospital. Finally talked you in to coming home earlier today."

Barnes took all of that in, wide eyed and shocked. "Wow. That sounds _terrible_," he whined, feeling like maybe that was a _really big_ understatement. His eyes landed back on his twin and he watched how gentle he was being with Natalia's hand as he played with it, but his eyes were dark and haunted, his face gaunt. Barnes could see now why the Soldier had seemed so murderous and frightening earlier. He couldn't really blame the guy for flying off the handle.

Steve sniffled, and Barnes turned to see that his friend's eyes were wet. "It's so good to see you, Buck. It's been so long." He turned to face Barnes and before he knew it, Steve was wrapping himself around his old friend. He squeezed tight, and it took a moment for Barnes to react in kind, squeezing right back, hiding his face in Steve's neck.

When he did look up again, his eyes met the Soldier's across the room where he was now standing with Sam, his back up against the glass windows. He was glaring, his teeth bared unhappily, arms crossed tight against his chest. Sam didn't seem to notice, continuing to talk as if everything was alright.

"Steve, I think other-me is getting jealous." He patted Steve's shoulder and then pushed away, nodding toward his murder twin. Steve looked over and winced at the dark look that greeted him. Barnes watched in confusion. "Have you not hugged him, yet?" When Steve looked at him with a guilty expression, Barnes just sighed and shook his head, shoving his oldest friend toward the corner. "Go and hug the fucker, you punk!"

Steve stumbled from Barnes' shove but came up next to the Soldier, a shaky smile on his face. "B-Buck?" The Soldier turned a confused look on to Steve, glancing from Barnes to Steve before nodding, eyeing Steve critically. "Is it okay, if I…?" he trailed off, reaching out carefully. The Soldier didn't move, but the look on his face was at once frightened and pleading.

The hug was tight and stiff. Steve clung like he hadn't even with Barnes. The Soldier stood stiffly, his jaw clenching and unclenching, until he brought his right hand up and wrapped it around Steve's back. Barnes noticed that his left arm remained down, held close to his side. The Soldier traded one approving look with Barnes before turning and burying his face in Steve's neck, similar to the way Barnes had just moments before.

Natalia appeared at Barnes' side, dragging his attention away easily enough. He always had been a sucker for the dames. He flashed a flirty smirk at her, though he knew it wouldn't phase her. Just as he guessed, all he received in return was an unimpressed eyebrow raise.

"So, you and him, huh?"

Natalia smirked, looking extremely pleased with herself. "It was a long time ago. I'm nearly as old as he is, but not many people know that." She gave Barnes a warning look, like he might go and squeal as soon as she wasn't watching him. He raised his hands in front of him, backing away.

"Hey, secret's safe with me."

She nodded, rolling her shoulders until she looked calm and boneless again. "We've known each other a long time, and I'm sure me and Yasha can work something out. He was the best thing I can remember about my time with the Red Room. I'm glad he's starting to remember, too."

Barnes nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable. He was glad that the older him had a little something nice in his life, but he didn't think he should be hearing all these personal details. It wasn't his place, and it was none of his business, anyway.

"Well, I'm happy for you. And him, of course." They looked across the room and saw that Steve was still clinging to the Soldier, though the Soldier had let go and now looked like he was waiting for someone to save him from the octopus Steve had become.

"Well, I guess that's my cue to go rescue him." Natalia waved and sauntered over, disentangling Steve from the Soldier and then tugging the Soldier right out of the room, flirty smile on her face and peaceful indulgence on the Soldier's.

It was quiet for a long moment, and then Clint burst out laughing from his perch on the kitchen counter. "Well, shit. I should drop by more often. This is better than daytime soap operas!"

Barnes sighed and looked to Steve, who was rolling his eyes with a grin on his face. "Hey, this has been a pretty good day for me, all things considered." He saw Peggy still waiting impatiently in the kitchen, arms crossed and toe tapping. When Steve saw that, his face dropped. "Oh, right."

Peggy noticed his attention and then crooked a finger in his direction, an expectant look on her face. "I believe we have a conversation to be having, don't we, Steve?"

Steve hung his head but went over to her side and let her drag him from the room, as well. Once everyone was sure they were gone, Clint whispered loudly, "My God, he's so _whipped_." Clint sounded extremely pleased about this, his smile wide as he leaned forward with the force of his giggling.

Barnes and Howard exchanged looks, Barnes' grin stretching across his face as he shook his head. The future was fucking _weird_.

**A/N: Translations**

**Я сожалею, что я в тебя стрелял. Дважды - I'm sorry I shot you. Twice.**

**Вы помните меня? - You remember me?**

**Да, конечно, я Наталья - Yes, of course, Natalia.**

**Вы являетесь одним из лучших вещей, которые я помню - You are one of the best things I remember.**


	13. Midnight Musings

Steve rolled over in bed, Peggy's arm draped loosely over his chest even as she snored into his ear. The conversation that had proceeded the very enthusiastic make-up sex had been emotionally draining and taxing, but she had needed to know the situation. He felt terrible keeping something so huge from her for so long, but he had been afraid to tell her the truth.

To tell her just how terribly he had failed.

Her tears had mixed with his own even as they moved together as one beneath the sheets, pressing kisses to each other's cheeks and necks and shoulders. They had shared their agony and pain about the young Sargent's tragic life, the way he had been used and abused for so many years.

Peggy was sound asleep now, but Steve couldn't close his eyes. Even though he had known all of this for nearly two years now, the pain still felt fresh and new. It seeped from his soul and spread through his body like a slow poison. Even now, when he looked at _his Bucky_, the Bucky that had become the Winter Soldier, he felt that pain stabbing at his insides like a string of barbed wire. It was painful to look at his friend and see the weapon Hydra had turned him in to.

The eyes were the most frightening thing about the Winter Soldier, but not for the reasons people might guess. Tony might say it was because he was unnerving with his vacant stare; Natasha might say Steve just missed the warmth that had always shone through his old friend's eyes; Sam might come closest, perhaps pointing out that the Winter Soldier was no longer just Bucky Barnes, but something else altogether. Maybe not _bad_, just _different_.

None of those were the reasons Steve was scared of the Soldier's eyes, though; he was scared because it was something that he recognized. During the war, after Steve had rescued Bucky and the 107th in Azzano, Steve had noticed something different about his friend. Of course, the man had been tortured for weeks. _Of course_, he would have been different. But when Steve looked at him across the campfire between them late at night, he saw the difference in his friend. Not in his posture or his talk or his voice, but in his _eyes_.

The poor man's _eyes_ had been tortured, empty, and blank. Bucky had never looked so devastated in his entire life, that Steve had seen. Steve knew he tried to play off his changes as nothing, as just an effect of war. But Steve knew Bucky like he knew himself. He knew that Bucky struggled with the things that had happened to him on Zola's lab table, but he was willing to let Bucky deal with it however he wanted, as long as Bucky had remained at his side. Looking back, he supposed that had been incredibly selfish of him. He _should_ have sent Bucky home after he had rescued him and the rest of the 107th. He should have been a better friend and done what was best for Bucky.

Instead, he had held on to Bucky with both hands until he had fallen from that train and into another pair of waiting hands. And now, after all of these years, Bucky was back within arms' reach. And his eyes were _just the same_. Tortured, empty, and blank, just like they had been across a campfire in Nazi-occupied France.

Some things never changed, he supposed. He just wondered how long Bucky had had a little bit of the Winter Soldier lurking in his mind.

It didn't make Steve love the man any less, but it was something to think about. He had been quite surprised to see that emptiness slide away when his eyes had landed on Natasha in the common room. That was another thing that had Steve's blood boiling. Natasha had _known_ Bucky, had been in a _relationship_ with him, and hadn't breathed a _word_. Not in all the time they had been bringing down Hydra, or even afterwards when Steve had dragged Sam along on his self- imposed 'Let's-Find-Bucky' world tour.

But even though she'd never breathed a word, Steve could see how important she was to the Soldier. He would have to be _blind_ not to see the affection and care that lit up his eyes and face when he looked at her. It was like the Bucky from 1941 was shining through when their eyes met, and God help him, but he would deal with practically anything if it meant he could see Bucky looking so happy and carefree again.

He _wanted_ the Soldier to be happy. He wanted the man to be able to have a _life_ again, to _love_ again, to _be his friend_ again. But even with all the good intentions and wishes in the world, adding the Bucky from 1944 to all of this just added to his confusion and hesitation about the whole situation. Steve had been so shocked when that elevator had opened up and he had seen his friend, the friend he remembered, standing there in all his Army-days glory. He had been dirty and skinny and haggard, yet he had been the best thing Steve had seen in years. But when the Soldier had attacked him, Steve had thought his heart just might have stopped. Feet frozen to the ground, Steve hadn't been cognizant enough to stop the fight before it was abruptly over. Afterwards, Sam had been able to usher the Soldier away long enough for Steve to talk with the Bucky he remembered, the way he had dreamed of for years now.

Peggy tightened her hold on his chest and grumbled unhappily against his arm. "Stop thinking so loudly."

Steve chuckled quietly before turning to wind his arms around her shoulders, tugging her closer. He breathed in the scent of his best girl's hair, something he had never been able to forget. Even when he had visited Peggy in her care facility, he had both feared and yearned to smell that scent once again. It brought back so many memories, but they were bittersweet in their unreachability.

He was a Man-Out-Of-Time, after all. And he could never go back. But this was the next best thing.

The Winter Soldier pressed down on the cushions of Natalia's sofa experimentally, smiling softly at the surprisingly comfortable piece of furniture. He had declared that he would be keeping first watch from the sofa, where he could see both the window and door clearly in one quick glance. Natalia had rolled her eyes, pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, and sashayed into her bedroom. The Widow had left her door open just enough that the Soldier could easily see her laying down in the bed. The rhythmic rise and fall of the mound of blankets she was buried beneath kept the Soldier calm and content.

He remembered her, fondly. His memory was coming back in bits and pieces, but he _remembered_ her. He was so damn proud of her, how she had gotten herself out of the Red Room after all, even though they had failed when they had attempted to run away together. How she had made a life for herself here, even if the organization she had thought was good was actually infested with Hydra scum. He couldn't really blame her, though; Hydra scum _were_ very good at hiding in plain sight. They could be subtle when they tried.

The Soldier felt slightly guilty that he remembered her better than he remembered the Captain. He knew the man had been important to him at one time; hell, he had seen the proof with his own eyes when his younger counterpart had spoken with the Captain. The way Steve Rogers had smiled, his eyes had softened, and his body had relaxed. He didn't act like that around _him_, though; the Soldier was dangerous and had proven as much time and time again. The Captain stood rigidly, stiffly before the Soldier, with an unmistakable yearning hidden beneath his bitter resolution to ignore every action that meant the Soldier had changed since his time as Sargent Barnes.

He may not remember much, but he knew that what he was, the monster he had become after all these years, had been borne not from Hydra's years of conditioning but from the war and the experiments that had happened on Zola's shiny metal table in '43. That had been the beginning and he pitied the man sleeping in the guest room on Captain Rogers' floor. The poor young soldier was still fighting with the beginnings of what had eventually become the Winter Soldier. Maybe in this new day and age, the man could actually get the help he would need to overcome the blankness and disassociation and violence that came from that torture.

Staring out of the large window, watching the city lights against the night sky, the Soldier mused over his new situation. It was never truly dark in New York City, but it was dark enough for him. He had lived in the shadows for too long, all these years. He wondered what it might be like to live in the light, for once. It sounded too good to be true, too amazing. But maybe it would be worth it. Either way, he wanted to at least _try_.

Natalia, his light in every way that had ever mattered, stood in the doorway to her bedroom. She stared at him fondly, her arms crossed lightly against her chest and her hip cocked against the doorframe.

"Yasha," she said softly, her smile a secret and lovely thing. Long nights, when they had worked missions together and been left to their own devices in shady motel rooms, rushed back into his mind. He had loved her so goddamn much. His sun, his light, his world. This woman had meant nearly everything to him at one point, and he hoped beyond hope that they could recover what they had lost. Perhaps this was how the Captain felt about him; did he hope against hope for his friend to return? "Come to bed, Soldier." She held a hand out to him, neither pressing nor hesitant. It was just a suggestion, an option. He could stay on the sofa or he could go to bed with Natalia.

Being the clever, intelligent man that he was, he stood and reached across the space between them, wrapping his metal fingers around her flesh ones. This was something that he had always loved about her; she had never once shied away from his arm. The first time he had felt a stirring of any sort of positive emotion in a very long time had been when the young little Natalia Alianovna Romanova had taken one look at it, standing in formation with all the other little Black Widows in training, and smiled, teeth and all.

"What a beautiful weapon," she had said sweetly within the hearing of the guards. When they had been alone, years later, when it had only been her left alive for the Soldier to work side by side with, she had whispered, "No. You are not a beautiful _weapon_. You are a beautiful _man_." She had kissed him then, hard and full of teeth as the shadows from the streetlights had flickered across her face, making her look equal parts frightening and beautiful.

Natalia pulled him into the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind them. The Soldier stared at her, unsure of what she wanted exactly, but Natalia just smiled. It was soft and loving and understanding. "We will just sleep tonight. I promise, Yasha." His body relaxed, even though he hadn't realized how tightly wound he had been. He nodded and went to the side of the bed, kicking his boots off before crawling beneath the multiple layers of blankets piled on the bed. After years first freezing in Russia and then freezing in the ice, the Soldier thought he might never be warm again. Extra blankets just might help with that. Natalia crawled in beside him and pressed her ice cold toes into his legs. It was a tiny thing, something so mundane and ridiculous that it made him laugh. It was something she had done ever since he had known her.

It was hugely refreshing, to know that not everything had changed. There was still _something_ recognizable in this woman that he had loved so deeply. He wondered if she recognized something in him too, besides his face and his fighting and his arm. Was he like he was when he was Yasha? What about when he was Bucky? Did he still have parts of them in him, somewhere?

"Go to sleep, Yasha. It will be better in the morning." She pressed a kiss to his collarbone, nuzzling her nose against his skin when she was done. The Soldier relaxed, wrapping an arm around Natalia and pulling her close. He never wanted to let go of this woman, his lifeline, ever again.

James Buchanan Barnes huddled beneath his blankets, shivering miserably. He was so _cold_, he was _shivering_, he was _falling_. There was something wrong with him; he couldn't think and he could hardly breathe and he was just so damn tired. He hadn't been sleeping so well since Azzano, he had to admit. Well, if he was being completely truthful with himself, he hadn't been sleeping well long before that. Perhaps after the first time he had blown an enemy soldier away? To him, it had been so long ago. Two years was like a lifetime during war.

He had tried to sleep, he really had. But he had woken to a cold sweat and a pounding heart, so he had decided against trying again tonight. He would just lay here and pretend to sleep so maybe he wouldn't look like total shit in the morning. Maybe no one would notice the dark circles beneath his eyes or the unhealthy pallor of his skin.

It didn't matter, anyway. He tugged the blanket up over his head and hid beneath the cave his body heat and blanket made. Even though Steve had given him the bare bones of what was going on and what had happened to him just a few months down the line, it was more frightening than reassuring. He had survived, sure; but what had he become in the meantime?

What scared him most was that he recognized the look in the Soldier's eyes, on his face. That blankness and that vacant dead stare. Those thing stared back at him from his own mirror from time to time. He recognized them, but they scared him.

What if he still became the Soldier, without Hydra or the Red Room? What if he still cracked and became a monster? What if?

He knew there was something wrong with him. He would black out, sometimes. Lose track of time. His body twitched uncontrollably. He healed faster and felt stronger and was more agile, but was it really worth it if he felt like he was shattering to pieces inside?

Sure, he may have Steve here, but the man had so much else to worry about without his time travelling buddy falling apart at the seams. Bucky needed to be strong, he needed to be what Steve needed. He didn't need Bucky falling apart, he needed Bucky strong and whole and functioning. He would have his hands full dealing with the Soldier's recovery process, he was sure. He didn't need Bucky adding to his list of problems.

Even if it was fucking _torture_ to be alone in his mind.

He scared himself, sometimes. He didn't have a Natalia to calm him down; he didn't even really have Steve to help him through this. Steve would want him whole and happy, not broken and erratic. Steve needed someone at his back, not someone dragging him down.

He was alone, truly. And it scared him down to his bones.

But Steve would never know that. Bucky would do his damnedest to smile and joke and roll with the punches as much as possible. He would be the Bucky Steve needed, the Bucky he _wanted_. Even if it killed him, Bucky wouldn't let on what was happening in his mind. No one would know. No one needed to know. No one.


	14. The Hard Way

The Hard Way

It was a peaceful night. Steve was curled up around Peggy and Peggy was snoring daintily into his arm. It was nice, and calm, and all the things that Steve hadn't had in a very long time.

And then the alarm went off.

It was blaring shrilly throughout the apartment and tore Steve from his comfortable rest. He was out of bed and on his feet within seconds, slipping into his uniform and hopping to get his boots on as fast as possible. Peggy was leaning up on her elbows, eyes groggy and annoyed because the alarm continued to wail.

"There better be a very good reason why there's an alarm going off at four in the morning," Peggy threatened, glaring blearily at Steve through her exhaustion. Two years away from the battlefield had left her grumpy and sleepy when an alarm sounded, instead of on her feet and ready to fight. And she was absolutely okay with that. She deemed that she deserved it by now.

"That's the call to assemble. Don't worry," he told her, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. "We'll be back before you know it. Try to get some more sleep." Peggy didn't look happy about it, but she nodded and fell back against her pillows, tugging the blanket up over her head. Steve smirked and left her to it, moving out to the hallway as he fastened his gloves on.

Bucky was standing there, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably, eyes wild and body tense. "What the hell is going on, Steve? Are we under attack or something?"

Steve looked up, worry seeping into his features as he took in Bucky's condition. He was shocked at the dark circles beneath his friend's eyes and how pale his skin was in the pre-dawn light. Bucky didn't look healthy at all, but Steve didn't have the time to talk to him about it.

"No, there's an attack somewhere though. We have to go and see what's going on. Don't worry about it, we'll probably be back by lunch. Try to get some more sleep, pal." He clapped Bucky on the shoulder and left the apartment without another word.

Bucky stood alone in the dark living room, staring after Steve with a stabbing pain in his chest. Time was, Steve Rogers never went off to a fight without Bucky Barnes nipping at his heels. He supposed the man had other, newer friends to watch his back now, though. Friends who weren't obviously falling apart at the seams, like him.

He collapsed on the couch, shivering in a pair of grey sweatpants and a thin t-shirt before he tugged the afghan from the back of the couch and curled up beneath it. After what felt like just a few minutes of blankly staring at the wall and feeling sorry for himself, Bucky heard Peggy moving around in the room down the hall. He couldn't really gather the energy to feel much of anything, much less embarrassed to be seen in a heap of misery on the couch, so he just stayed curled up and waited for her to walk through the door.

When she appeared from the bedroom dressed and clean and ready for the day, Bucky looked down at himself and felt like a bum compared to her. She saw the lump of him on the sofa and went straight towards him, plopping down on the available seat.

"I'm glad you're here, Sargent. As much as I love Howard and Steve, they can be a bit overwhelming on one's own." She grinned at him, and Bucky felt his lips raising up in a smile despite himself.

"Yeah, I guess I'm glad I'm here too. Better than having to go through the shit show the Soldier's had to, right?" And God, wasn't that the truth. Just the thought of ending up like the Soldier scared the crap out of him.

Peggy looped an arm through Bucky's and leaned her head against his shoulder, sighing softly. "What do you suppose all that ruckus was about this morning, then?"

Bucky started to shrug, but was interrupted by the voice in the ceiling. "Sorry to interject, but I have an update on the Avengers' situation. The team was originally called in to assist local authorities in apprehending Dr. von Doom. While they were finishing there, Hydra attacked a weapons manufacturing plant in Queens. Simultaneously, a group of AIM scientists detonated a bomb that decimated a city block none too far from here. The team is handling all of the attacks sufficiently, but ask that none of you leave the Tower today, as it seems disproportionately dangerous outside."

"Wow. Gotcha, not leaving today." Bucky saluted the ceiling and then went back to curling into Peggy's warm body beside him. He was still reveling in the fact that there was a real, honest to God artificial intelligence in charge of the building. The _future_, man.

The elevator dinged then, but the door remained closed. Bucky stared at it in confusion until Jarvis spoke through the speakers. "Ms. Romanoff asked the Soldier to keep you both company while the team is away. Is it alright if I let him in?"

"Of course! Open the door, please." Peggy stood and made her way to the elevator doors to greet the Winter Soldier. Bucky stood as well, feeling less welcoming of their guest than Peggy, apparently. He would have really rather not have had to face what became of him ever again.

The doors swished open and the Soldier stood there, face blank but looking about a million times healthier than he had the night before. He gave Peggy and Barnes an appraising look before taking a step further into the apartment.

"Wait, they left _you_ behind?" Barnes asked, so shocked that it just slipped out. He hadn't meant to actually _speak_ to the man.

The Soldier's eyes zeroed in on him, piercing him with an empty, dead eyed stare. After a good amount of time beneath that terrifying glare, the Soldier nodded and rolled his eyes, stalking into the apartment and plopping down on the sofa where they had been just a moment before.

"I was deemed _too_ _unpredictable_. And Rogers doesn't want me in the field until someone can look me over." His face morphed into a long-suffering, unhappy scowl. "Not that I wasn't in top fighting condition _yesterday_ or anything. Not like I wasn't fighting Nazi scumbags for most of the day."

Barnes deeply regretted saying anything now. Thankfully, Peggy noticed his reluctance for conversation and took over instead. "Would you like some breakfast? I was just thinking of making something for the Sargent and I."

The Soldier gave her a long, dispassionate look before rolling his shoulders in the most awkward shrug Barnes had ever seen. "As long as mine's liquid."

They both must have had some strange looks on their faces, because the Soldier smirked back at them, looking almost amused. "Freezer burn's hell on the digestive system. Plus, I don't think I've actually had any solid food in about fifty years."

Barnes had absolutely no idea what the hell that meant, and really never wanted to know. It sounded horrible, what had happened. The same thought was not going through Peggy's mind it seemed, because she gave the Soldier a sad, understanding look before nodding and heading back into the kitchen.

Which inevitably left Barnes and the Soldier alone, awkwardly staring across the room at each other. Their eyes locked and Barnes felt like a rabbit caught in the gaze of a wolf. Finally, the Soldier sighed and rolled his eyes once more, patting the seat next to him.

"I will not bite. Sit." His words were stilted and uncomfortable with the tiniest hint of a thick Russian accent, but that actually had a calming effect on Barnes. If the Soldier was uncomfortable too, at least Barnes wasn't the only one.

Peggy was banging around loudly in the kitchen and Barnes decided that he might as well take the Soldier up on his offer. He shuffled across the living room and sat on the other end of the sofa. The Soldier watched his stiff movements with obvious amusement, his face blank but his eyes dancing with glee.

As the minutes ticked by, the silence stretched on and the Soldier's face turned more and more serious. Just as he was about to speak, Peggy wandered back in, two plates and a large glass balanced in her arms.

She dropped one of the plates into Barnes' waiting hands and the glass into the Soldier's before plopping herself down between them with her own plate. They ate in relative silence, the only sounds the slurping from the Soldier's straw and forks scratching against plates from Peggy and Barnes.

When they were finished, the room fell into complete silence. She glanced between Barnes and the Soldier and gave them both a long-suffering glance before standing and taking the dishes back with her. "For God's sake, men. Hash it out. This ridiculous silence is insufferable."

Barnes stared at the Soldier with wide, frightened eyes until the Soldier met his gaze, blank and calm like ice. "We should talk," the Soldier admitted, turning in his seat so he could lean back into the sofa while also meeting Barnes' eyes. Barnes just remained where he was, stiff and unhappy. He didn't want to talk to the Soldier; he wanted Peggy to scold him and Steve to joke with him and maybe Howard to come and drink with him for a while.

"You are shattering," the Soldier stated. Didn't _ask_, didn't _wonder_, but _stated_ like a fact. Like he could see inside of Barnes' head and knew exactly what was going on there. The Soldier saw him stiffen, and his voice softened into nearly a whisper. "You do not want the others to know, but if you do not tell someone, you will not like the consequences."

"And what does _that_ mean?" Barnes hissed, wanting to lash out at someone, anyone. Where did the Soldier get off on telling him what he had to do? "You going to tell on me yourself? Oh, I'm _so_ scared," he mocked, shaking in faux-fear.

The Soldier seemed to ignore his juvenile attempts at instigation and pushed on instead. "You will not like what happens if you don't talk to someone, because _I_ never got to talk to someone about it, and this is what I became. I assure you, you don't want it to get that far."

It felt like a bucket of icy water had just been dumped over his head and Barnes stared at the Soldier with badly disguised horror. That had been the exact same thing he had been agonizing over earlier. If he didn't talk about the cracks in his mind, he would turn into the Soldier? The thought alone sent chills rolling down his spine.

The Soldier's face softened when he saw the effect of his words to his younger self. Never let it be said that the Soldier felt no empathy. He was a teacher and protector at heart, it was just hard for him to show it sometimes. He reached out with his flesh hand and clasped Barnes on the shoulder, his thumb rubbing back and forth for a few moments before he squeezed and left his hand resting there. It was a solid reminder of the here and now for the frightened young sniper.

"I do not mean to cause you distress. It took me a long time to remember anything other than Hydra and what they made me do, but I do remember a lot more now than I did a few years ago. I remember Steve, and I remember the first time I was taken prisoner during the war. I know what a mess your brain is right now. I regret not telling Steve back then. At least I wouldn't have had to deal with it all alone." He raised an eyebrow at Barnes when it seemed he was going to deny what was going on inside his head, and the younger man visibly deflated, staring down at his hands with a scowl. "Nightmares. Panic attacks. Hallucinations. Seizures. These are all things you are dealing with, and they are all things that will ease if you get the help you need to deal with them."

"I'm no crazy," Barnes mumbled vehemently, fisting the material at his knees in his hands. "I don't know what you're talking about, seeing things or passing out."

The Soldier sighed and let his hand fall from Barnes' shoulder to his hand instead. Barnes stared at their intertwined fingers in shock for a moment before he let out the breath he had been holding and started chuckling. He laughed so long and so hard but the Soldier just sat with him through it, his hand solid and real in Barnes'.

"No. You are not crazy," the Soldier admitted, a bitter yet playful sound to his voice. "If anyone's crazy, it's me. But you are hurt, and you need medical attention for it just as if you had been injured physically. There are people in this time that can help. I want you to at least think about it. It's not as stigmatized now as it was when we were growing up. No one will avoid you on the street because you see a therapist of take pills."

Barnes' breathes were shallow and raspy, but at least he was smiling. "A'right. I'll _maybe_ talk to someone." No he wouldn't, he thought viciously to himself. He could be strong, and he would be strong, for Steve if for no one else. "You happy now? Gonna let me have my hand back?" He waved their joined hands at the Soldier and waited for him to let go. The Soldier gave him a hard, stern look before he nodded and let go, letting Barnes return his hands to the hem of his shirt. God, but it felt like his father was sitting beside him scolding and lecturing him.

Peggy peeked her head back out of the kitchen after a long stretch of silence and smiled when she saw that no one was shouting and/or bleeding out on the floor.

"Wonderful. Did we settle that like adults? Smashing. Well, Howard has just called. He says he's been playing around in the lab and is bored out of his mind without company. Anyone interested in a fieldtrip?"

She didn't even wait for them to answer before she was slipping some shoes on and marching out the door. The Soldier and Barnes traded looks before Barnes dashed off after her, the Soldier a heavy presence at his back as he stomped out behind them.

Howard, it seemed, was not being constantly hounded by people like Peggy and Bucky were. He was left mostly to his own devices, which usually consisted of tinkering away in a corner of Tony's lab, preferably when the man himself wasn't there. Tony Stark really got a stink face on him whenever his eyes landed on the younger version of his father. It was either that or indifference with a side of forced civility, and Howard wasn't sure which stabbed at his heart more.

He must have _really_ screwed that relationship up.

But, then again, he was always screwing up one thing or another. Just ask Jarvis, or Peggy, or even Steve. Tony probably had a lifetime's worth of stories featuring Howard's epic screw ups.

He had been playing with Tony's holograms but that could only keep his interest for so long, and he was getting lonely. Everyone was gone from the tower and the others that had been left behind were holed up in Rogers' apartment having a heart-to-heart. He had Jarvis tell him when their talk was finished before he started sending increasingly annoying messages to Peggy in the hopes of enticing them downstairs to join him. He must have been losing his touch, somewhat, on his ability to be annoying, because it still took them ten minutes to swan through the elevator doors.

With a ping and a swoosh, the doors opened and Peggy slid through, a smug smile on her face. Barnes was looking uncomfortable and his shadow, the Soldier, was looking vaguely pissed off right behind him. It seemed he was just following them around for shits and giggles, then.

"What have you done now, Howard?" Peggy asked, sounding exasperated. Her hands settled on her hips and she stared down at him in his corner of the lab, scrunched up over the things strewn about the table in front of him.

"Why is the first thing you assume when you see me that I _did something_?" Howard whined, pouting up at Peggy playfully. Barnes rolled his eyes and popped up beside him, poking at the pieces on the table inquisitively.

Howard took a long look between Barnes and the Soldier, comparing and contrasting now that he had the time to spare. They actually looked fairly similar, besides the obvious things like the long hair and the metal arm. They both had that empty look in their eyes and an exhaustion hiding right beneath their skin. Barnes just seemed to be more invested in trying to hide it.

"Because whenever you call me in to see you, something is usually about to start on fire."

Howard shrugged and pointed at one of the little machines in the corner. When the others turned to follow his gaze, the machine lifted its arm and waved up and down at them, chirping excitedly. "Got it covered. His name is Dummy and he apparently loves to use the fire extinguisher. Even if there isn't a fire. At least, that's what Tony said before he left. I still don't think he likes me very much," Howard sighed, fiddling with the tools in front of him.

The Soldier spoke up then, his eyes lit up with something frightening. Howard jumped at how silent he had been. "Well, he doesn't like me much, either. I killed his parents, after all. He's still sore about it."

The room was deadly silent as Howard turned to stare at the Soldier with wide eyes, literally struck speechless for once in his life. Peggy's face was pale and sickly, and Barnes looked like he was about to pass out.

"What did you say?" Barnes asked, his fists clenching as he stepped protectively between Howard and the Soldier. The Soldier didn't look too perturbed by the scrutiny and lazily flopped down on a chair, letting his long legs spread out in front of him as he crossed his arms over his chest. He was the picture of arrogant disinterest.

"_I said_, that I killed Howard and Maria Stark, and Tony Stark is not happy about it at all. He hates me, as well. I _thought_ we were bonding over being hated here," the Soldier pouted exaggeratedly, looking between them like they were overreacting.

Barnes stomped forward, seeing red until he suddenly wasn't, and he blacked out. He wasn't very proud of himself when he opened his eyes, his vision returning, and found himself standing over the Soldier's sprawled out body, his face bloody and cracked. Barnes' chest was heaving, his knuckles were smarting, and he was having trouble thinking straight.

The Soldier smirked and spit out a mouthful of blood, sitting upright before wiping the majority of the blood from his chin. Barnes must have gotten a lucky shot at his nose or mouth. When he looked over his shoulder, Barnes saw Peggy and Howard huddled in the corner of the lab farthest away from their skirmish. Peggy had a gun leveled in their direction, and where she had gotten it from he had no clue. Good for her, though; always ten steps ahead of the rest of them. Howard's eyes were wide and frightened; Peggy's were steely and bright. Both expressions made Barnes feel very uncomfortable.

"They're not scared of me right now, you know," the Soldier said quietly, that infernal smirk still on his face. He let his shoulders sag and his head bang softly against the floor as he stared up at the ceiling, apparently trying to catch his breath as well. "They're scared of what you just did. Gone away for a bit, did you? That how it started. How _I_ started." The Soldier tilted his head to the side so he could grab Barnes' attention and stared into his eyes. "Don't get too angry, that's when you black out. That's when the beginnings of the Soldier pop out. Like just now," he elaborated, waving his hand to encompass the chaos surrounding them.

"Sargent Barnes, are you alright now?" Peggy called from across the room. Barnes turned and met her gaze, nodding shakily. He turned back to glare down at the Soldier.

"He was our _friend_," Barnes bit out sadly, fists clenching and unclenching spasmodically at his sides. "Howard was our friend. How could you do that?"

The look on the Soldier's face was chilling. It was cold-blooded and lifeless and empty. "There were no friends to the Winter Soldier. Hydra burned out my memories, seared programming into my brain, and then used trigger words to make me kill people they didn't like. What choice did I have? I had no _friends_, only my next mission." Something he said must have sounded funny to him, because the Soldier barked out an inhumanly painful laugh before rolling over to sit upright again. "If you want to know what I do to friends, you should ask Captain Rogers when he returns. Ask him just what happened on the Helicarrier in D.C. two years ago. Look at the pictures of his injuries. That's what the Winter Soldier did to _friends_."

Howard and Peggy were flanking either side of Barnes now, and neither was looking too happy about this sudden turn of events. "If you are so very dangerous, why are the Avengers letting you just walk around unsupervised?" Peggy asked, her voice strong and fearless though her eyes told another story.

"Because the Captain has a soft spot. And I told him that I don't do that stuff anymore. And _I don't_. There's not many people left who know the trigger words, or have a Chair, or can hope to control me. I'm bargaining on that being enough to keep me in my right mind." He smirked up at Barnes as he stood, all poise and grace and silent threat. "Besides, I'm not the one that started this skirmish." The Soldier turned his hard gaze onto Barnes and whispered in a mixture of Yiddish and Russian, so they would be the only ones to understand, "Do you still believe you aren't crazy, малютка?"

And then it all seemed to click for Barnes. The Soldier's little 'slip' about murdering Howard and his wife hadn't been a dig at Howard, it had been an excuse to make Barnes see how far out of it he was. It was something to force Barnes to see that he _did_ need help.

The Soldier had realized that Barnes had been lying earlier, and had decided to show him first hand exactly what he was capable of now.

_Shit_.

"You understand now, yes?" the Soldier asked softly, his face transformed from the sneer of moments ago to something light and worried. Did he wonder if he had pushed too hard, gone too far? "I used to be a teacher, a long time ago," he revealed quietly, taking another step closer. "I taught children how to defend themselves and lie and scheme their way through missions. Natalia was one of my students for a time. My handlers took me off of the teaching detail once they realized I was getting too attached to my students. I have _always_ grown too attached to my students. I want to see them _succeed_." He placed a hand on Barnes' shoulder and was pleasantly surprised when it sagged beneath the weight instead of shrugging him off. "I want to see you succeed. I don't want you to end up like me. Take this opportunity. You won't regret it."

His words were too soft for Peggy or Howard to hear just a few feet away, but Barnes could feel their eyes on them, staring at them in confusion. Barnes glared at the floor. So, the Soldier felt like he was Barnes' mentor? Well, wasn't that some messed up, time travel shit. He was getting advice from his double. The man wasn't even that much older than him, right? Something in his eyes must have broadcast his thoughts, because the Soldier was suddenly right up in his face, intense but sincere.

"I am much older than you, James. I have lived lifetimes. I am _old_. Nearly a century has passed since I was born, and my life has been filled with bloodshed and pain and _learning things the hard way_. Your life does not have to be like that. I don't _want_ it to be like that. I'm trying to _help_, you numbskull."

Barnes shoved his hands in his pockets and carefully shrugged the hand from his shoulder, backing up a few steps so he was closer to Peggy and Howard than the Soldier. "I appreciate it, buddy. Really. But you have _got_ to learn a better way to get your point across." He pointed at Howard, who was still sickly pale and shaking. "You scared the shit out of our friend, because you wanted to prove a point. Did you actually kill him, or was that just something you made up to be dramatic?"

The Soldier glared, and then he stared off into the distance. "December 16, 1991. The Asset was sent to eliminate Howard and Maria Stark. The Asset was to procure the items in the trunk of the car. The Asset struck Howard Stark in the face repeatedly. The Asset choked Maria Stark. The Asset took transportation back to the rendezvous point with the items from the trunk for extraction." His eyes cleared and he stared back at the others with no expression. "Yes, I killed them. No, I didn't make it up."

He stood fully then, and stomped out of the room. The elevator dinged and then he was gone. Barnes sagged with the way the tension seemed to follow the Soldier out of the room. Peggy still had her pistol out, pointed at the ground now, but she was giving him funny looks. Howard still looked like he was going to be ill.

"What was that all about, Sargent Barnes?" Peggy hissed, giving him one last look before holstering her gun. Even though Barnes was watching her, he had no clue where the hell she had stashed it. He rolled his shoulders, trying to relieve some of the pressure, but in reality it only seemed to make his body feel worse.

"Our little talk this morning. Apparently the Soldier didn't believe me when I said I would think about what he told me. Had to make a big production out of slamming it into my head." He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed, rocking back on his heels. "Have I always been that big of a drama queen, or is that something that was acquired through age?"

That got Howard smiling again, even if it was shaky and small. "I think it's a natural born talent, Barnes. God knows I've listened to you go on and on about the travesty that is your life." He was smirking now, and the color was starting to return to his face. Barnes counted it as a win and moved on.

"Steve said they would be back by lunch. Why aren't they back yet?" he wondered out loud. Jarvis seemed to have been listening, and he chipped in with what he knew.

"As I said, Sargent, it seems to be disproportionately dangerous outside today. It looks like every major group has come out to fight with the Avengers. They will most likely be gone all day and into the night."

"Wonderful. Natalia won't be back to talk some sense into the Soldier until later, then." Barnes groaned at himself, but when he turned to look at the others, he noticed Peggy staring at him intently. "What?"

"Maybe you should take what the Soldier said to heart, whatever it was. If he went to such great lengths to get you to understand, it was probably very important." She looked worried then, and reached out to take his hand. "When you started attacking him. I'm sorry, Sargent, but that man was not you. He said something about getting help? I think that was very sound advice."

Barnes stiffened and grumbled to himself, but didn't shake off her hand. "I'm fine. Would everyone stop griping about it? I swear, I'm okay. If I get worse, or something, I'll talk to somebody about it. But for now, I'm alright."

Peggy frowned. "We're not in a war any longer, James. You needn't push on as if nothing is wrong. I saw it a lot, in the men I worked with at the SSR after the war. People came back different. War is not a pretty thing, and many of them didn't handle it very well. If the Soldier knows something that might help…," she trailed off, looking at him uncertainly.

"He doesn't. He just said he doesn't want me to end up like him. He said that there are doctors or something that help, but I don't know." He didn't want to tell her that he couldn't even think about doctors in white lab coats standing over him right now without breaking out into a cold sweat. Or telling a doctor what was wrong with him. That would lead to poking and prodding and questions he didn't have the answers to. No, he could deal with this on his own. He had been doing such a good job of it, too.

"Let's just… go back upstairs. Do something that doesn't require me talking about this shit. Okay?"

Peggy relented after a healthy dose of the Sargent's puppy dog eyes, and Howard was just happy to have some company. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to look at the Soldier the same way again, but he assumed it would just take time. Besides, the man wasn't going to kill _him_. Why kill someone twice, after all? That would be just a bit excessive in his books.

They stayed on the common floor until it was dark outside. The Soldier had remained out of sight and so out of mind, while the others had waited for their friend and his team to return.

It was nearing midnight when the first Avenger stumbled through the door. The three left behind had had the foresight to call and order food for the team for when they returned, and it was still hot and fresh. The first person in the room was Hawkeye, limping and covered in dirt but grinning from ear to ear.

"Food, my first love, how I've missed you!" he crooned, hobbling over to the counter where he scooped up a bit of everything before collapsing on one of the barstools.

Natasha came in next, with Sam and Tony at her sides. "You better have saved some of that!" she hissed, slapping the back of Clint's head affectionately before making a plate of her own. Sam slammed past the couch with the others, joining in on ribbing Clint, but Tony stopped beside the couch and looked them all over. He looked worse for wear as well, but at least he seemed calm, if exhausted.

"My day was full of busting bad guys over the head and getting thrown through walls. Please tell me you three had a better day?"

Peggy rolled her hand in a 'so-so' motion, while Howard turned white again and Barnes glared at the wall. Tony's chin jutted forward in thought before he rolled his eyes and turned toward the kitchen. "You know what, forget I asked. Was no one allowed a nice day today?"

Steve was the last one in, as usual, and was headed straight for the three on the sofa. Peggy cut him off, though before he was even ten steps near them. "No. Go get your food and then come see us." She waved her finger dangerously and Steve's eyes widened, nodding quickly before he disappeared around the wall into the kitchen. He appeared a few minutes later with a plate piled high with food and settled down on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"So, Tony said your day sucked too. What happened?"

"Someone needs to have a fucking talk with the goddamn Soldier," Barnes ground out, sounding frustrated and exhausted and like he just couldn't wait to get someone to bitch the man out. Steve looked a little shocked at Barnes' vehemence, but nodded anyway, even if he was confused. "He scared the shit out of Howard just to prove a point to me. He's a fucking asshole."

Steve didn't look so shocked anymore. "Yeah, he can be a handful. He's still working through a lot of his own stuff. We probably shouldn't have left him alone all day but we didn't really have time for a back-up plan."

Natasha appeared then, as if she had been summoned by the man's name. "What did Yasha do now?"

"We had a discussion this morning, and then when he didn't like my response, he told Howard about how he_ killed him_, to prove to me that I shouldn't end up like him if I can help it!" Barnes was hissing this at them, trying to keep his voice down because he didn't want Tony in there throwing a fit about his parents' murderer hanging around his house.

Natasha's brows were raised, but she didn't look too shocked. "Yeah, he can be an ass sometimes, but he does it because he cares." She levelled a look at Barnes, almost daring him to contradict her, but he remained silent. "I'll talk to him, see if I can get him to ease up next time." And then just like that she was gone.

Barnes sighed, nearly collapsing forward when Steve reached out to wrap an arm around his shoulders. "It's alright, Buck. We'll get everything sorted, you'll see." Barnes just shook his head. Always the optimist, Steve Rogers.

Natasha found the Soldier in the bathtub, fully clothed and sitting in a standing pool of freezing water. She raised an eyebrow at him but didn't begrudge him some self-soothing. She settled herself on the floor beside the tub and pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. He opened his eyes then and stared at her dully.

"Barnes told me what happened today. What were you trying to tell him? Really?"

The Soldier opened his mouth but seemed to struggle to get a single word out. Finally, he croaked out an answer. "He is very stubborn. So very, very stubborn. And a terrible liar. Was I ever that bad at lying?" He let his head thunk back against the rim of the tub and pulled a hand from the water, letting it rest on the edge in easy reach of Natalia. She took the offer and laced their fingers together, sighing contently as she waited for him to continue.

"The boy is in pain. His mind is turning against him. I thought that if I talked to him, he would understand. Instead, he nodded along and told me a lie straight to my face. So, I thought that if I could show him just how much he wasn't in control, he might finally understand. I triggered a blackout, where he became me, in a sense. And we fought. But he still doesn't seem to get it. I just want to help him, but he won't let me. He won't _listen_!"

Natalia's grip on his fingers tightened before she pulled herself up again, resting on her knees beside the tub so she could peer into the Soldier's face more easily.

"Sometimes," she said, reaching out to cup his cheek in her hand, "we cannot help everyone. Sometimes, they need to realize they need help before it can be offered and accepted." She ran a thumb over his cheek, watching as his eyes fluttered closed, and then she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. "You always want to help people, Yasha, but maybe you can't help him. Not yet, at least. But you can be there when he needs you."

The Soldier nodded, opening his eyes to stare blankly at the wall before turning to Natalia and smiling, ever so slightly. She always had been a smart one. Smarter than him, even. He leaned forward, listening to the water slosh around him, and pressed a calm, light kiss to her lips. She was right, as always. He could wait. He _would_ wait, and be there to catch the boy when he fell. But until then, he had some catching up to do with his favorite person. It was an even trade-off, he felt, smirking as he bit her lip reverently. She was staring at him intently, giddiness in her eyes, and he knew that even though the day had been terrible, the night would be wonderful.


End file.
